Just Call Me Cat Woman

So, Monday morning I noticed that my garage smelled like animal excrement. As I do not have an animal, I was a bit upset. Better said, I was threatening to quit feeding the cat that moved in under my porch.

Not that I've seen that cat anywhere near my garage. S/he's far to skittish and afraid of us to attempt such nonsense as the garage.

I later found the pile. I think it was dog doo. It was certainly larger doo than the cat has been laying down in my lily bed, next to her door, under my porch. But now that I'm thinking about it, there has been this large cat prowling about. The doo could have potentially fit that cat. But don't cat's go in dirt?

Anyhoo.

So we start feeding this cat, right? The little black one that lives under the porch. That my neighbor tells me I will have to register if I continue to feed. And, as I missed pet amnisty day and am still feeding, am probably breaking some rediculous law that I don't know anything about except that I am breaking it. Gee, thanks for that Ben. Now I'm willfully breaking the law by honoring my mother-in-law by feeding the cat that lives under my porch.

Life is too short for this kind of guilt. There are starving children in Africa, you know? And we are all worked up about whether cats are registered. Maybe we deserve to have our economy crash.

Ahem.

Did I mention that I have PMS?

But my point is this: suddenly my house is cat haven. All these cats have been coming around. First the black kitty. A week ago this large grey striped cat prances into the backyard. The kids go bezerk, first terrified and then wanting to feed it. And they do until I put the lid on that behavior. It looked plenty well fed and I only have guilt for the cats that are MIL sanctioned.

But it keeps coming around.

I KNEW that little kitty couldn't be eating that much food.

And then yesterday, I saw this big white cat, HUGE, with big grey spots, nosing around my porch, trying to swipe the goods out of my hungry little kitty's babrie bowl.

And then TODAY, the striped cat was back, rubbing all over all of us, looking for a handout. Meanwhile, the starving black kitty can't get to the barbie bowl because it seems to be afraid to walk past me to get to it. And then I figure out it isn't ME, but the big grey cat. So I MOVE the barbie bowl to the kitty.

That still won't let me touch it.

I hate cats.

But s/he did sneak up on me later and wrap her/himself around my legs, once, before darting away.

I like to think of it as gratitude.

To which I must say, "'bout stinking time! Who buys your food, anyway?"

But all those other critters that are coming around are going to have to take a long walk away from my house.

I am no cat woman.

Maybe this is why all the neighbors have those yappy dogs. How DO the cats survive?

Oh, right. My yard.

I wonder if someone will loan me a dog for a week?

The Irony

I find it bizarrely poetic that I would be scheduled for the following post on my own "Black Tuesday." I've stopped in my tracks (read: very loud exclamations directed towards my irresponsible children) several times this morning. I haven't chuckled, yet, but it's a start.

Definition: Black Tuesday: The very worst day of your cycle in which you explode all over those you love and sometimes the guy at Sam's as well. (as paraphrased by Chaos but explained in The SOS for PMS.)

The S.O.S. for PMS by Mary M. Byers

One thing I didn't miss while pregnant and nursing Charming was PMS. I did miss the feel good hormones that complement PMS in the intervening weeks, but the dark week of darkness, I can do without. I think Hubs could, as well, if his attitude this week is any measure. My family is all holding onto their hats and tip-toeing around me. And it's working. Because knowing is half the battle.

A third of the battle is eating right, which I haven't accomplished, because even though I had no chips in the house a couple nights ago, Hubs jumped right up and ran to the store when I looked at him and said, "I NEED MSG." (Really it was the salt and crunch of a chip that I needed, which he knew, but MSG sounds so much better since Over the Hedge...even when it will probably garner the comments about how bad it is for you. Three words: Lay's chips, plain. No MSG.) Maybe next month? This month I'm just charting.

"What are you talking about, Chaos?" You might be asking the screen right about now. The new book I'm reading The S.O.S for PMS. There's even a chapter for you boy(s) out there that think we're intolerable. (Here's a secret for you: we think we're intolerable, too. Maybe you should send us away to the pedicurist and cook your own dinner one night a month, eh? We'd all feel better.)

Here's a bit about the Book:

The SOS for PMS:
Practical Help and Relief for Moms

In her latest book, Mary explores an often frustrating topic, the symptoms of PMS, and offers practical advice and encouragement for mothers. Readers will find comfort in the stories shared by other moms, realizing that they are not alone in their struggles with PMS.

With this book, you will find suggestions designed to inspire healthier lifestyles, relationships, and daily choices for all women.

Gather any group of moms together and the topic of frustrating PMS symptoms rises up in conversation along with the guilt and concern about its effects on family members.

Now Mary Byers, author of The Mother Load, offers mothers encouragement, help, and camaraderie as she shares:

~women's stories-the good, bad, and the hopeful

~overlooked symptoms and how to manage them

~foods and activities to avoid or indulge in

God's first aid for stress, depression, and anxiety a call for help-how husbands can come to the aid of their wives

This gathering of useful advice and shared experiences will comfort readers who have ever felt alone in their PMS plight and will inspire healthier lifestyles, relationships, and daily choices for all women.

To read an excerpt go here:

A Word from the Author

"It’s my hope that this book will bring help, hope and healing to moms who suffer from PMS. It’s been a source of despair in my own life but things are looking up now that I’ve developed my own coping plan. Those I interviewed for this book shared intimately about their own battles and I believe their stories, along with that of Callie’s (the main character in the book) will convince other women that it is possible to change their current response to PMS and encourage them to start today.”

Win a copy of the book in two ways:

Mary is giving away 4 copies of SOS for PMS. All you have to do is leave a comment on the blog tour post!

Or leave a comment here. I only have one copy, though. Good luck! It's a good one!

The Miracle of Adoption

Yesterday in church, I had someone I've never met, but had phone conversations with, come up and ask, "Are you Jamie?"

After exchanging pleasantries I asked him, "How did you know it was me?"

"I guessed," he replied with a smirk.

"You're a good guesser," I told him and continued with the conversation.

Four hours later it occurred to me that he spied me due to my family composition.

He knew we adopted. He had apparently been told what our family looked like racially. He made an educated guess.

I am still apparently colorblind and clueless.

Fodder

Blog Fodder. Boy do I have some. But I need to figure a way to couch it so as to not offend a bunch of people. So for now I will leave you with this post, which will probably offend a bunch of people, but if you drop the single swear word, you'll probably find it hilarious and might like the lesson also. Hat tip to Jenny for the link.

MSG

I'm craving MSG like a PMSing mother on a rampage.

Wait....

(Tasty dust, where are you?!)

A Song for Fall.

Tis the season to hate my neighbors, fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

They burn their leaves and smoke me out, fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

They wait until the wind blows my way, fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la

They don't even get a permit, Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!

If it was only once a year, fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

I could probably tolerate it, fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

But twice a week is quite obnoxious, fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la

I would like to call the cops, Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!

Seriously now, if they were actually getting a permit and burning for a couple hours once, even twice a year, I'd be nice about it. But they seem to wait until the wind is blowing away from their house, directly at mine to burn and do it so often, rarely on burn permit day (Tuesdays) and we have to close our house up, and even then cough and choke for three days, at which time they start burning again.

And I will admit that after several years of doing this, the guy talked to me for the first time since we've moved in and said, "I wait until the smoke will go straight up and I burn hot and fast. Let me know if it ever bothers you and I'll put it right out."

While I appreciate the sentiment, IT ALWAYS BOTHERS ME. And he DOESN'T WAIT UNTIL THE SMOKE GOES UP they wait until it goes away from their house. And hot and fast doesn't indicate the EIGHT HOURS OF BURNING that takes place several times every fall.

I don't have an answer. But it does seem like they could rake one big day a year and burn once. We rake one big day a year and fill the landfill. I'd burn, but Hubs won't. I like the leave the leaves and let them rot method, but that doesn't go over well here.

Self-Awareness is Key

I set a goal for myself this week to only go to the grocery store if I was willing to walk there. My thinking was such:

A) I would get exercise.
B) I would only buy as much as I or my stroller could carry.
C) I easily live walking distance to just about anything I could possibly need.

thus:

A) I could stop compulsively gut pinching wishing I could get rid of the saggy baggy elephant that resides in my torso. (I only do this in the car or on the couch...both times when I know I should be doing something more productive.)
B) I wouldn't compulsively overspend by overstocking on marginally good deals.
C) I would quit spending so much at the pump.

So how's that working out for you, Chaos?

Well, let me say it this way: If you spend 33 calories walking to Sheridan's and eat 4217 calories of custard, are you better off?

Oh, and I'm meal planning much better to use up the stuff in my pantry.

Did you know that when cement guys pour a new driveway, they stand over the finished product until it is set? I think I want that job. The one that works for 20 minutes and drinks something out of a plastic cup under a tree for the next 3 hours.

The Encore Effect

In case you need motivation to get off your butt and do something, I give you exhibit A.

You know how sometimes you read something (Let's say Financial Peace by Dave Ramsey) and you think, "I already know all this..." but you are inspired to get busy and do it anyway...for the first time?

So, not financially speaking, or financially speaking, whatever floats your boat, The Encore Effect is the Financial Peace of life management.

Here's a bit about the book:

Everyone wants to make a difference in the world, but most have no idea how to maximize their impact. In The Encore Effect, best-selling author and leadership expert Mark Sanborn provides the answer. He leads readers in six practices that will move them beyond excellence to distinction and from mundane to memorable. These principles guide readers to draw on their passion and devote themselves to preparation, practice, presentation, polishing, and finally, avoiding pitfalls. When readers follow these principles they will find that people are attracted to them. More importantly, they’ll find that they now have an influence over others that can impact lives for eternity.

By following the six principles of The Encore Effect, readers can:

• Deliver a remarkable performance in everything they do
• Elevate the performance of the people they lead and influence
• Extend and deepen the impact they have on others—even for eternity.

This special edition, distributed through the CBA, will include unique content such as scripture verses, biblical illustrations, and discussion questions.

For the Philosophers Among You

If pee is composed mostly of ammonia and water, and people use ammonia and water to clean, does having a child pee all over your house make it cleaner?

The Attitude Begins So Early

I expected it when she turned 13. I did. I still have distinct memories of my mother telling EVERYONE SHE KNEW, "Ignore her, she's 13."

It really hacked me off.

However, in hindsight, I believe her words were correct. I can think of no better way of dealing with a 13 year old girl. And I tell my friends of teenagers, who apologize for their daughter's horrid attitude, speech, and behavior towards their superiors, "Don't worry. I'm ignoring her, she's 13." NOT when she's in hearing distance.

BUT PRINCESS IS SEVEN.

She has no excuse.

When did it become acceptable to point out all of your mother's faults? When did it become appropriate to point out every time your father is incorrect? When, I ask you, did she wake up and decide we were the stupidest creatures on the planet?

And what does this say for 13?!

So, Tuesday, kids are lollygagging around the house. Not ready for school. No shoes on their feet. No brushed teeth. No combed hair. No lunchboxes in backpacks that were still by the door when they threw them the night before. It is ten after eight and we find them in the backyard playing with the toad.

Reminder upon reminder (Including, "Do you want to be late?") finally chases them dressed, shod, cleaned, and toting bags to the backseat of their daddy's car when he stops to give Charming a goodbye kiss. And we hear from the back seat, "Now you're the one making us late, Daddy!"

I could still hear him lecturing as they left the driveway.

In Summary

Sigh.

It is her best yet.

Christmas Blast Out Blog Tour

A SCRAPBOOK OF CHRISTMAS FIRSTS

(Leafwood Publishers, October 2008)

A wonderful new gift book, A Scrapbook of Christmas Firsts, is available in October for Christmas giving. Today, I’ve invited the six coauthors to share their unique story of how they came together to publish this exciting book full of stories, recipes, tips for simplifying the holidays and so much more (click on bookcover to see the trailer!).

First, let me introduce Cathy Messecar, Leslie Wilson, Brenda Nixon, Trish Berg, Terra Hangen and Karen Robbins. Thank you for being here today, ladies.

Karen: Thank you for the invitation.

You are from three different areas of the country—Texas, California, and Ohio. How did you all meet?

Terra: We all six joined The Writers View, an online group for professional Christian writers. Trish and Brenda met in person in 2004 for lunch, I understand, and on 9/18/04, after reading a post Brenda sent to TWV, I sent an email to Brenda, asking if she would like to join with me and walk alongside each other, as a Barnabas group. Brenda said yes that same day, and suggested Trish too. Very quickly Cathy, Leslie and Karen joined in and our stalwart band of six was formed. Living in California, I was so happy to find 5 Barnabas writers in other states so we could bring together a wealth of different viewpoints and expertise

Brenda: Actually, We haven’t met. We’re all great colleagues and friends via the internet. Four years ago Terra and I formed a dyad to support each other as Christians who write in the secular markets. Along came Trish, Cathy, Karen, and Leslie (not necessarily in that order) and we formed a close knit bond of support, creative energy, and professional accountability.

Karen: I met Trish through an online forum called The Writers View and she invited me to join the group.

Trish: Although we belong to the same Yahoo writing group, we met one by one online. Eventually, the six of us decided that since we all write as Christians for a secular market through magazine articles and newspaper columns, we could support and encourage one another.

Leslie: Though we met virtually through The Writers View, I have been blessed to give and get hugs from Trish (at a MOPS conference), Cathy (in the area on business) and Karen (in town for a writers' conference). I can’t wait to meet Terra and Brenda face-to-face, though I feel as though I already know them!

How did you come up with the idea to do a book together?

Brenda: The book is Cathy’s brainchild. She mentioned the concept of telling stories of events that happened for the first time at Christmas and sharing holiday historical tidbits and recipes and each said, “If you need any help, let me know.” That offer morphed into each of us equally contributing and co-authoring A Scrapbook of Christmas Firsts.

Trish: Yep, Cathy came up with the idea and the title, and asked us if we wanted to join her on this project. Of course, we said Yes!

Terra: Cathy mentioned the idea for a Christmas book to the group, and someone (I think it was Leslie) suggested that maybe our group could all write the book together. Cathy agreed to lead the way on the project. The earliest email I have on this is from 9/7/05, which shows that this has been a three year collaboration from idea to publication.

Karen: (Chuckling) Terra is a librarian and keeps our historical records by saving our e-mails.

Leslie: Actually, Terra, I wrote that comment (in a group e-mail) kind of tongue-in-cheek. Cathy, the ultra-sweet person she is, took my joking at face value and here we are. However, I believe God prompted the passion and ideas we all bring to the project and that He will do mighty things as a result of our collaboration!

Why did you decide on a Christmas theme?

Brenda: It was Cathy’s concept to write a book centering on Christmas.

Cathy: For several years, I’d been thinking about Christmas as a threshold to introduce Jesus to folks who aren’t familiar with him, and I love a simpler Christmas with the emphasis on family, friends and doing for others. I knew of some families who had experienced “firsts” at Christmas—reunions, losses, special surprises—and I wanted to collect those stories.

Terra: Cathy’s idea immediately resonated with me because Christmas books are “a way past watchful dragons,” as C. S. Lewis wrote. Many people won’t buy a book about being a Christian, but will buy a holiday and family fun book, thus the “past watchful dragons.” People who want to grow in their faith, and people who have no faith but celebrate Christmas will buy our book and hopefully be led to put the focus back on Christ for the holiday, and for their lives.

Leslie: Though Cathy birthed the idea, the rest of us quickly hopped on board. Not only is Christmas special to me—especially now that I have a family of my own—but also that particular holiday cries out to be simplified, to return to the meaningful aspects of celebration, and to lose some of the hype and commercialism.

Tell me a little about what is in A Scrapbook of Christmas Firsts? What is your favorite part?

Cathy: I like that you can read one chapter in about 15 minutes and, with all the different suggestions, it feels like Christmas Eve. Makes you want to set up the nativity! Many of the suggestions for family activities can be adapted for any family get-together.

Karen: There are heartwarming stories about things that happened for the first time at Christmas. For instance, one of my stories is about the first Christmas with our adopted children. And the book is pretty. When I first saw the colorful pages and drawings, I fell in love with the illustrator’s work.

Brenda: I don’t have a favorite part – I love it all!

Terra: I like the way the parts are woven into a seamless whole, like a patchwork quilt, that is stronger and more beautiful than the parts.

Trish: It’s like everything you ever wanted to know about Christmas, all the best tips and recipes, and neat stories all wrapped up in this perfect little package.

Leslie: I love reading the special stories, hints, recipes—whatever—and imagining the precious family time that precipitated each moment. Plus, the book is gorgeous, beautifully printed, truly something to be proud of. And we are.

I’ve heard that the book is really a nice gift book; can you tell me a little about the format?

Cathy: Yes, it’s a hardbound book, full color interior. The layout makes it easy to read. It has a definite scrapbooky look on the interior. Different logos identify sections, such as an oilcloth-look Christmas stocking appears beside the “Stocking Stuffer Tradition” (help for connecting family members), and the “Cookie Canister” recipes are on a recipe card, and the back ground of “A Gift For You” is a gift box with bow. It’s a classy gift that they can be placed on a coffee table or in a guest bedroom during the holiday season.

Brenda: I like to describe it as a Starbuck’s sorta gift book. It’s high quality, crisp, and practical.

With six different personalities and areas of ministry, how did you manage to put this all together and still remain friends?

Karen: We pray a lot for each other and it helps that none of us have an over-inflated ego.

Cathy: There were no squabbles. Surely, we had differing opinions, but we knew that any of us could suggest an idea for this book and that each idea would get fair reviews from others. We actually voted on some aspects—everyone in favor say, “Aye.” If you’ve ever watched women at a Dutch treat luncheon when they divide up a meal ticket, it can be intense as they split the ticket down to the penny. As the project came together, I was in awe of my gracious coauthors, unselfish women who respect each other.
For some decisions, we did a round robin—things like book title and chapter titles and what categories to put into the book. Then, as compiler, I’d send out a list of needs to The Word Quilters, that’s what we call ourselves. For instance in a section we call “Peppermints for Little Ones” (hints for children’s activities), I’d put out a call, and the WQs sent in their hints, and then I put them into appropriate chapters.

Brenda: (Smiling) Are we still friends? Seriously, we each have our own platform, ministry, and family life, and those interests kept this project in perspective – it was important but not the only thing on our plates. No one was so enmeshed in this project that she campaigned for her own way. We never had a bitter disagreement or insistence to be “right.”

Terra: We are each other’s biggest cheerleaders.We offer support and ideas for our separate writing projects and for personal prayer requests. I love these ladies, and I have only met one of them in person. So far, Karen is the only one who has met each of us, and one day we hope to meet in person, in a circle of friendship and love.

Trish: I think we are all very flexible and forgiving. We do have a variety of personalities here, but God has worked amazing things through our little group.

Leslie: Though I have seven non-fiction projects in various stages of completion, I could not be more thankful that this is the one to reach publication first. I am truly blessed to have worked with these women, learned from them, watched as they’ve poured heart and soul into crafting a product that will impact lives for the Lord.

Where can my readers get a copy of SOCF?

Cathy: The coauthors will all have a supply, plus our publisher, Leafwood Publishers, will have plenty of copies and discounts for buying five or more. Or they can be ordered at most online stores or by your local bookstore.

Karen: And anyone who leaves a comment here can be entered in a drawing for a free book and a gift basket worth $200! For a list of its contents, check our blog, A Scrapbook of Christmas Firsts. And while you're there, leave another comment and increase your chances of winning!

Tell me more about your blog.

Karen: We started our blog in July and it is accumulating a wealth of information about Christmas. Each of us posts one day a week following the theme for that week. Watch for new recipes, tips, ways to simplify, stories, etc., similar to what is in our book.

Leslie: Ooh, ooh, let me answer this one. I’m probably the newest to blogging among the group, but I LOVE it. I’ve enjoyed posting and receiving comments back from readers. What an amazing adventure having an online voice can be! This blog will focus on a different theme each week—anything from tips to avoid overeating during the holidays to how to give a guest room special touches—and expand on the material in the book. I think readers will get to know the authors’ individual personalities and connect on a more personal level. Plus, they get that many more ideas, information, inspiration (!) at no additional cost.

WQs: As an added bonus for inviting us to your blog, we’d like to pass along this Christmas tidbit to you and your readers:

Enjoy a blessed Christmas this year! And thanks for inviting us to share our book, A Scrapbook of Christmas Firsts, with you.

Stop! Hold Everything!

Today I got Siri Mitchell's A Constant Heart in the mail. A moment of silence, please. And then burst into cheers. Few books or authors do that for me anymore.

Between that and the Heroes season premier, you may not hear from me for a while.

Who am I kidding? Twenty-four hours. I give myself 24 hours to finish both. Unless, of course, I NEED to comment on something. At which case you cannot hold it against Siri OR Heroes. Heck, it's probably them I'll be commenting upon.

The Makings of a Great Monday

1. Make sure your husband has Toastmaster's so he is up and creaking around the bedroom at the butt-crack of dawn...and gone by the time he can be of any use to you.

2. Make sure your kids have a field trip that they know about so they wake up super excited and unable to focus on small, insignificant details such as eating breakfast and getting dressed.

3. Whatever you do, don't pack lunches (in a throwaway bag with a throwaway drink) the night before.

4. Make sure that your know-it-all "helpful" kids drag their sunscreen and bug spray OUT of the van so you have to run all over tarnation trying to get it in the same place to spray them when you SHOULD be heading off to school.

5. Make sure you mention to the kids that you are only providing two quarters to each kid to feed the goats and that if they want to feed more than $0.50 worth of animals they should bring their own money.

6. So they go scrambling all over the house trying to find their money and there is great wailing and gnashing of teeth that they don't have $5.00 worth of quarters to stuff down the gullet of some overfed duck.

7. Don't triple check that the kids brought their back packs in which you lovingly placed each person's lunch.

8. Forget to remind them to brush their teeth and hair and wash their faces.

9. Screech at them when you get to school, "Where is your backpack?!? Did you brush your teeth? Why not? I guess you have no lunch then!"

10. Make kids burst into tears.

11. Break the sound barrier while you hightail it home to get aforementioned lunch.

12. (Stop and thank God that that police officer you saw coming around the bend came 30 seconds after you.) (Okay, I wasn't speeding....much.)

13. Grab backpack from living room without checking contents because you specifically lovingly placed lunch into back pack, didn't you?

14. Get back to school with empty backpack.

15. Mooch off the church to make dry peanut butter sandwich. Hand dollar to teacher and plead insanity, begging them to buy overpriced drink for poor underfed kid.

16. Hope that the other two kids don't think they were gypped because they got a "good" meal but no drink from the snack bar.

17. Come home to discover that the trash guys who typically come at 4:30 in the afternoon, decided to come at 8:45 this morning...before you've put out half the trash.

18. Have husband call with "not-so-great news."

19. Pull your bully of a toddler off his friend more than one time as he goes in for the kill because she thought she might like to play with some toy he hasn't touched in a week.

Other than THAT, I'd say it's been a relatively uneventful, peaceful and happy morning. ;)

Don't You Just Hate It

when you have a good blog post idea come to mind, and you tell yourself you'll write it just as soon as you get the baby down for the night, but the baby doesn't go down for another hour and a half and when it's time to post, you've got nuthin'?

Yeah, me too.

How To Lose A Pound While Still Eating Like Crap

Going...

Going...Gone.

And, yes, I'm putting it to good use. I'm sending it here. Because I kinda have a thing about breast cancer fighters/survivors. The lady in black behind me wasn't my stylist. She was just so durned excited that I was donating my hair she couldn't stay away. They kept asking me, "Are you okay? Are you alright? Are you sure? Lat chance to bail..." Pretty funny, really. I can't remember the last time I was so sure about a hair cut. Something about waking up all night when I'd roll over and wrench my neck because I'd rolled over on my hair, did it for me. That, and even though I'm a granola, hippy, hello-I-graduated-in-the-90s gal, I don't want to be precieved as a granola, hippy kinda gal (most of the time). I've been in the burbs too long.

And One More Thing

How can I scrub THAT long on a shower and it look THAT much better and still look THAT bad?

Speaking of Neighbors that Don't Understand Grace or Christians that Sometimes Lose Their Tempers and Say Friggin

So I'm out walking the baby when my neighbor hails me and the offspring with, "Can he have a Popsicle?"

I'm not sure if they buy Popsicles for the kids or if the kids have just figured out that if they smile nice they sometimes get them...but as the greedy little tykes weren't with me, I have to assume the former.

So he hustles to get the squirt a 'sicle and delivers it, "Complements of Obama."

To which I couldn't resist the faithful, "You're really gonna vote for that guy?"

And the ensuing political conversation takes place wherein he spouts his party line and I spout mine. Something like this: That Sarah Palin has no experience. What if McCain has a heart attack. Do you really want her as president. What and she has less experience than Obama? Biden. Biden? The Veep doesn't do anything unless the pres. dies. Are you hoping Obama dies?

Yeah, I know, you're either on one side or the other...half of that made sense to all of you. But here's where the conversation got interesting:

Well, she's one of those, whaddaya call 'em...evangelicals.

Uh, yeah....your point is?

You know...those....hmmm. Evangelicals. (gestures) Crazy. (remember he's telling me this...me...who asked him when he's gonna cave to the dark side become one of US (cackle) evangelicals. He avoided me for months.)

(Wide eyes, pretending I have no idea what he's talking about (I think the word he was looking for was "pentacostals" but I'm not about to help him out here.)) Huh.

Yeah. (knowing look) She's not much like you.

Huh.

Well. Tell the kids the popsicles are on Obama.

Um yeah, I'll do that.

(walking off, whips around, snaps fingers) You won't vote for Obama because he's black.

That's it. You got me there, Tuck. (I certainly hope he was kidding. No, no. I want MY son to be the first black president. It is unacceptable for anyone else to be.)

So, I'm wondering what exactly he thinks I am. I am obviously far too normal to be (whadda we call it?) Charasmatic, aren't I? Snort.

He says it like it's a bad thing.

Friggin!

It isn't just me!

Oh, my. Laughed until I cried.

(Gentle readers, or neighbors that don't think Christians should say "Friggin," may not want to click through.)