More Notes from the Canyon's Rim

Scene: Mom has just indicated to Princess that she might want to change before she goes to 6th grade orientation. Princess exits, dressed, stage left. Thirty seconds pass.

Princess: Mom!
Frodo: .....and he said that she said that he meant that.....
Princess: Mom!
Iris: ....and I went like, PISSA!.....
Princess: Mom!
Eldest (now speaking to his out of touch family):......rode bikes and then went to.....
Princess: MOM!
Dad: Come down here! Maybe Mom isn't answering because you are interrupting which you would know if you weren't yelling from the top of the stairs!
Frodo:....and then he threw his web and caught a frog.....
Princess: I can't!
Mom (interrupting Frodo's endless story): Yes, you can, if you want to talk to me! (aside) just a minute, buddy.
Princess: I don't know where my black pants are!
Eldest:....but going to the pool so he can't......
Mom: Probably in your bag from Sunday!
Princess: *whining* no! they aren't! are they in the laundry basket?
Iris: Mom can I have a gum?
Mom: How would I know? Come look! (aside) eat your lunch first.
Princess: I'm in my underwear!
Mom: Put on some clothes! (aside) I really am listening, Frodo.
Charming: Mom, can you get me some milk?
Princess: I can't! I can't find my black pants.
Frodo:....and he caught the owl and....
Mom: THEY AREN'T DOWN HERE I HAVEN'T WASHED DARKS YET!
Dad: *yelling over Mom* PUT ON THE CLOTHES YOU JUST TOOK OFF!
Eldest: *snickering* (mutter, mutter, and they say I'm in a canyon mutter mutter)
Dad: They need a class for problem solving, but instead of math they give real life challenges. Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! You have just taken off your clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes. you don't know where your clean pants are, are, are, are. What do you do, do, do, do? A) stand at the top of the stairs and yell for your mom. B) put on the clothes you just took off and go look for the clean pants.
Mom (standing in front of the fridge where she has just finished pouring milk): *maybe pees herself just a little bit*  

Notes from the Canyon's Rim

Eldest has hit the stage where he thinks his parents are out of touch. He's moody. And he punishes me when the school tells him he has to change for PE like I made the rule or something.

The following is an actual conversation that happened at our house today, the beginning of a new series on this blog titled, "Parenting with Mockery and Sarcasm."

Dad: Mom tells me you have a bad attitude today and you are taking it out on her.
Eldest: *silence* *no eye contact*
Dad: Why is that?
Eldest: *silence* *no eye contact*
Dad: What are we going to do about your attitude?
Eldest: *silence* *no eye contact*
Dad: Apparently he's fallen into the canyon of adolescence and I'm talking to myself now.
Eldest: *silence* *no eye contact*
Dad: Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello!
Can you hear me? .... hear me? ....... hear me? ......hear me?
Do you need help?.....need help? .....need help?.........help?
It's an abyss!......abyss!.....abyss......abyss......
Eldest: *cracks smile*
Mom: *dies laughing*

And because we are awesome like that, he's talked to Eldest in an echo all. day.

Goodnight! Goodnight! Goodnight! Goodnight! Goodnight!
I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!