Timing

Ever have one of those days where you just want to yank out your hair and shriek, "Well, what were you waiting for!?"

Or, "Oh, so NOW you're ready?"

My sleep last night was not peaceful. When I did sleep, which wasn't much, I dreamed solutions which weren't very solution-y. And I've felt this near rage (though I imagine it is just frustration with a side of sleep deprivation) boiling up this morning over things that are in the past and I cannot control. I know I can't control them. I know there is nothing that can be done about the past. Better yet, I know that this is probably "God's timing." So I'm trying to damper this brick of panic that keeps settling in my chest that NOW, when I'm low on sleep, time and energy, now I gt to do what God told me to do four, yes, four years ago. Now I get the green light.

Okay, I'm really not holy and I know that and you know that, but here's a thought that just came to me. Maybe God was waiting to that in my weakness He can be strong. That this won't be my doing but His. And that maybe, just maybe something extraordinary is about to happen.

I feel the knot in my chest unraveling, just a bit.