Saturday, July 19, 2008

As if I Haven't Griped Enough About the 'Mart.

I nearly came on here this morning with flaming fingers at the ready. I went so far as to log in and begin typing. But I had to pause and remember that my readership is potentially gentle. Or potentially expects me to be gentle.

Or I wanted to be able to show my face at church tomorrow.

So I signed off.

I've had eleven hours to recover my wits and senses. And though my wit won't be quite so ascerbic, I find I cannot, I repeat, CAN NOT not write a post about the trauma I endured at the hands of Sam Walton this morning.

Serves me right for going against my own unofficial boycott in quest of a cheap fish tank.

Which, it might be fruitful to point out at this moment, was OUT OF STOCK.

You might remember that once I discovered that IF I skipped the self check lanes, and IF I went on Tuesday mornings at 8:37, and IF I only brought one child, two at the max, along, Wal-Mart was nearly tolerable.

My first mistake was going at 10AM on a Saturday. My second was taking Charming.

Both, mind you, not my choices. I rudely point my finger at Hubs who was told at 7:15 this morning that I intended to take Eldest on a "special date" assoonas he got home from the airport.

He got home at 8:35. (Yes, I can make it to Wal-Mart in two minutes.)

Hubs "needed" to clean out his car. I thought he meant trash. When he got out the shop vac I tacked on another 10 minutes.

I didn't know the man planned to detail the thing.

But that is for another post and I need to remember that I've forgiven him. (Wal-Mart at 10AM on a Saturday didn't help his odds of survival.) And that he totally forgot we had people coming over in TWO HOURS.

Back to "Save Money. Live Better."

So, my question is: If you go into Wal-Mart specifically to get something that only they carry (to your knowledge) i.e. the $10 fishtank (for the toads, plural, that we need to find a home for) and the Wall-E short set for $5 (for which Frodo is aching) and you've promised Eldest that he can, indeed, pick out a new back pack TODAY, THIS MORNING, and they've moved everything in the store to a new location since your last visit, and they are in the middle of renovations (sorry for the inconvenience, but when we get it finished it will be so much nicer {shah}) even though the store is less than nine years old because you remember being so excited when they were building it so that you wouldn't have to drive across town to get to your (then) favorite store, and they don't have the things on your list, they have no back packs that Eldest likes and you've re-hurt your back wrestling Charming into and out of the cart seat, and you still have to go next door to Target to get what you need (not the things that only Wal-Mart carries, mind you), and it is hot and muggy and you want to bang your head against a wall, or a floor if that's all that is available in the gigontimous building...

Does that count as "living better?"

5 comments:

Nurse Boy said...

Did you get your kindermat there yet? Maybe you can pick up one for us also.

Chaos-Jamie said...

I'll get right on that NB. I'm always looking for reasons to torture myself.

Imperfect Mom said...

10am on a Saturday morning.

Woman, you have completely taken leave of your faculties.

If my house was burning down and Walmart had the only fire extinguisher in town (it's my story, so we're assuming the fire department couldn't make it), and it was at 10am on a Saturday, I would simply wait for the embers to die and then collect the insurance. I would not go to Walmart.

It's a stumbling block of the worst kind. Words I didn't know were even still IN my vocabulary flash through my mind. I stay away because God wants me to. Seriously.

Chaos-Jamie said...

IM You are HILARIOUS!

But, as it nearly drove me to a permanent rift in my marriage, I believe it is a stumbling block that I will also avoid. Again.

Nurse Boy said...

PREACH IT SISTER!!!!! Could Sam Walton be the Anti-Christ? Just a thought?

Mrs. Nurse Boy