I feel like I've been beaten to a pulp. Drug down until every last shred of self has been obliterated.
No, I don't have PMS.
Yes, I know that is what you were thinking.
And now that we have that covered, I'll continue.
A couple of people have heard this face to face and to you I apologize. I am just physically unable to be happy and perky and funny on my blog when my mind is consumed with a battle that I know I must lose and for some reason I keep fighting. I don't even want to win. I want to lose. That's how it is when you fight with God. My problem is I can't figure out how to go about getting to the place I need to be.
I know all the platitudes. I know the right answers. I know what I ought to do. I try to do it.
Not in my strength, but his.
So why do I still want to come up fighting? Because frankly sometimes I just want to run screaming from the building.