Does it seem like I am always whining about where to go from here? I certainly feel like I am. Some days I just think I am in the wringer, supposed to learn something, or know something, but I can't figure out what it is.
So if, for example, I've written a novel. And if, for example, someone I trust to tell me the absolute truth (read: published author who does not know me from Adam, has no reason to lie, and writes stuff I love) tells me that the first 20 pages of my book are great, fabulous, don't change a thing good and though can't promise that it will be my entry into fiction, thinks it will be, what do I do with this information? Especially if, say, I send the same 20 pages in to a contest where it is judged by three different people. One gives it high scores but red marks the whole thing. One gives it moderate scores and doesn't make a single mark on the manuscript, and one gives it excruciatingly low scores, red marks the whole thing, but the comments don't make a bit of sense and if the judge had used a dictionary ONCE would gain a while new perspective...even if said gained perspective wouldn't have changed the scores would have made the comments more appropriate at least.
And, let's say, seven (such a lowly number) rejections already grace said manuscript.
Would you perchance wonder if you were barking up the wrong tree?
Would you trust the first professional reader you had, or would you trust the rejections and contest judges?
What if you'd decided that your ms really was @*&^?
And no, I waited for the initial downer of not finaling in the contest to wear out before posing these questions. It was a good couple of months ago.
So I asked God if I should quit. I said basically, 'Give me a neon sign. because I don't want to quit if you want me to keep at it. But I certainly don't want to keep at it if you want me to quit."
So I get this awesome email from one of my crit partners about the calling to write and ignoring the calling is ignoring God.
Can you say neon?
Problem being, of course, that I didn't mean to write fiction, I meant to write a memoir but in the process got a fiction opening.
Thoughts, comments, suggestions, gossip?