Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Mama Bear

Don't tangle with my kids. The only person allowed to do that is me and I'm well acquainted with the guilt bug that follows so I try to do it as little as possible.

But, man, the she bear has come out a lot this week. I have cried for my baby girl a lot in the last three days.

I just remember the pain of being the butt of a joke, even when I didn't know what the joke was.
I remember the pain of being laughed at by an adult, but not knowing why.
I remember the pain of exclusion.
I remember the pain of isolation.
I remember the pain of not feeling important.
I remember the pain when a "friend" suddenly turned on me.
I remember the pain of not being good enough.
I remember the pain of not having the right look.
I remember the pain. Just the pain. And I want to shelter her from it for as long as possible. But I think we are about to the limit of what I can do. I will just do my best and give it to God.

And pray, pray, pray, pray, pray.

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1 comment:

kpjara said...

Wow that's incredibly open and haunting! Thanks for sharing this.