Saturday, December 06, 2008

Because Sometimes You Have to be THAT Guy

Today I came home from SHOPPING to find Hubs CLEANING the refrigerator.

No, really, pulling out the food and the shelves and scrubbing the shelves down.

I couldn't decide whether to be hurt and offended or just thankful. I chose thankful and guilt ridden. With the "Gee, hon, I know it is bad. I'm sorry."

I just keep putting crap like that off. Particularly when I am busy scraping the yogurt off the table with a putty knife and pulling Charming off six foot ladders and pianos. And cooking for Eldest who has a hollow leg. And promising Princess that we will, indeed, do a craft together, SOON. And peeling apples for Frodo. And the dishes and the laundry and even sneaking a shower in every three or four days, selfish woman that I am.

I know fridges need to be cleaned. As do showers, which I noticed last evening while actually participating in the cleansing activity that takes place for others there, but rarely me unless it is my arm washing some child's hair.

I always feel guilty when it comes to Saturday and Hubs discovers that homes that are clean (read: picked up, not scrubbed) when he walks in the door on Friday night are COMPLETELY TRASHED by Saturday at 8:30 AM. AND he has to STAY HOME in it instead of heading off to work while the house miraculously cleans itself.

Me, I've gotten rather used to living in squalor. I enjoy it.

Oh, right. This isn't the parallel universe.

So, on Saturdays by noon, he's usually using phrases like "I can't live like this" "we have to get rid of stuff" and "I can't take this mess!" And instead of picking up the crap all over the floor he grabs a rag and starts deep cleaning.

And the guilt monster eats me alive.

See, I don't deep clean unless things are picked up.

And things are never picked up. Not completely. Well, not when I don't have a meal to prepare or clean up after.

He skips the pick up (smart guy) and CLEANS. And as I know that is my job, I get guilty. And say so.

So what he told me today when I referenced the guilt?

"I was thinking about those Helzberg Diamonds commercials and how I'm not THAT GUY. But since I can't afford to go to Helzberg's I should try to be THAT GUY instead." (He stayed home from a KU basketball game to go to the Christmas thing with me and the kids and cleaned my fridge.)

Come on, say it with me....


A very wise woman told me today (after I told this story) that a very wise woman once told her: don't be offended when he does something around the house. Just be thankful he did it and try to let the why rest.

(That's for those of us who assume he only cleans something because he doesn't think you do a good enough job yourself and not just because he loves you and it trying to help. That isn't for those of you who keep an immaculate house. You can just skip this paragraph and go re-read my failures in the first few paragraphs and feel better about yourself.)

Incidentally, it isn't that he can't afford ANYTHING at Helzberg's, it's that what he can't afford is what he wants to buy. Which is currently working for me. Don't pop my bubble.

No comments: