Dreaming

I had a dream last night about my little girl.

It really started strange. We were visiting Israel and then suddenly we were at the care center visiting our little Iris. Maybe I figured if we were that close, we could just jump another plane and stop in to see her?

Dreams.

She was so full of love and hugs and I was so relieved that she was open to receiving our love so quickly. She also spoke English. Dreams can be nice that way. So I told her how very much we loved her and she responded "I love you, too." And we hugged, and kissed and giggled and played.


And then I woke up.

I just wanted to go back to sleep so I could hug her again. And all day long, I've missed my little girl. It hurts to go through a day without her. To have a birthday party where I watched the cousins play, minus one. To see cute new little girl clothes that I'd love to dress my Iris in. And I don't even know what size to buy for a daughter that I don't know when she's coming home.

I know this is temporary. And on the scale of world matters, it isn't really that big of a deal. She's being well cared for in a place suffering a horrendous famine. Most days just feel like any other. But the days following the dreams, they hurt.

Courts should be open now. Hopefully a court date will soon follow. I'd still love to be there before Christmas. With our schedule, Christmas will be here in no time. I might be losing hope that this will actually happen. Delay, delay, delay, delay, delay. That is the latest story. And it is aggravating. Even when God's timing is prefect. Even when I have eleven children in my backyard. Even when all things work together for good. And especially when I have dreams about my little girl.

There's no poetic ending to this post. I'm sad. The end.