How Do You Squeeze?

After nine and three quarters years of marriage, I think I've figured out why people get divorced over toothpaste tubes. I never got it before. I think it is because both Hubby and I are middle squeezers. We both understand that if you squeeze from the end of a full tube, the tube topples over, and when all the toothpaste that is left is at the bottom of the tube, you squeeze it to the top. How hard is that to understand? We won't discuss that I can get a good week out of the tube after he has abandoned it for a new tube because it isn't a marriage breaker to have two tubes on the sink for a week. And he's learned to let me decide when it is time to throw the tube in the trash (he learned that the hard way).

Nope. Not irritated at Hubby. Irritated at son.

My five year old has taken over my bathroom sink. It wasn't enough for him to squeeze all the kid toothpaste all over the kid bathroom counter, sink, and tube, oh no. No, he decided he didn't like kid toothpaste and needed to use adult toothpaste (not that I blame him that fruity stuff is nasty). Since he has two younger siblings that like to eat toothpaste, I encouraged him to use ours in our bathroom.

Silly me.

Now we have fruity toothpaste all over the kid bathroom and so much on the tube that even I can barely get any out of an almost full tube AND we have minty clean CREST all over MY sink, My counter, and MY tube. And he doesn't put the lid back on so that squirt that eeked down the side and dried there prevents me from getting nice minty clean toothpaste out of MY tube.

This is the stuff that divorces are made of.

I never knew I could get so exasperated over toothpaste. It's a good thing he's my kid and not my husband. Because Hubby would have been moved to the guest bathroom (in the dark scary basement) faster than you can say, "Put the blamin' cap back on or else, buddy!"