What Happened to Flashcards?

Last year I bought my daughter a Barbie laptop--because I'm STUPID. It was really marked down, I read the reviews on Amazon and decided it would be a good idea. People raved that their child learned so much and blah, blah, blah.

BLEAH!

Let me just say now that it is intended for a child with AT LEAST a first grade education and many things require a third. So she follows me around the house and asks me when I can "help" her do it. I can almost stand the times tables when she miracuously chooses them. Barbie says "nine times nine" and without looking at the screen I can say "eighty-one...eight...one." Barbie says, "Way to go!" Daughter gets her kudos and we go on to the next problem. And, granted, I think she is learning her numbers. Not her times tables, mind you, but she recognizes the eight now. If we keep at it she may learn them anyway. I'm trying to stay positive.

But the games where you have to chase the dot across the screen, the games where you pluralize the words, the games where you guess the animal name? The bane of my existence. I have to sit there, stare at the screen and do the typing. Now tell me, who's helping, and who's just rejoicing at the time spent on my lap?

Somebody get me a book, I'd rather read to her.