Wednesday, November 07, 2007

The Best of Both Worlds

I've discovered another ugly thing about myself: I want the best of both worlds. I want to be the at home wife/mommy AND I want my husband to be attentive and helpful around the house as if I were a working wife/mother. (Read: He does 50% if not 73%)

I used to know better. I never expected him to do laundry or cook or do dishes. That was my share and bringing home the bacon was his. But somewhere along the line I began to get more than a little edgy when he sat down at night and I continued to work. I still do, don't get me wrong. The 24 hour job versus the eight hour job doesn't seem like the nicest ratio. But assuming the life and death part of my job gets done, I can still go over and visit with a friend in the afternoon and leave my house to rot. (He can too, but to a much lesser degree.) And much of the time if I would pick up rather than BLOG (for instance) I wouldn't have so much to do in the evenings. Then again, without someone to hold the baby, I can get almost nothing done. Which leads me back to my original statement.

Yes, I can justify why he should help more AND I know that I'm asking a lot from a man who does an awful lot for the other five of us (four who are freeloaders).

None of that made a bit of sense, did it?

1 comment:

VAIL said...

Yes, it makes sense. It is a struggle that I believe 95% of women deal with. I am not a SAHM, but still, as a working mom - it is my responsiblity (in my hubby's eyes) to do all the laundry, dishes, house cleaning, cooking, homework assistance, tubbies, devotions, etc. . .
He does the yard, the landscaping, the dogs, the trash, the fix-its.
Mine is everyday, from the time I get home until I stop or go to bed (which when I do, nothing is ever completly done). His things are just when needed. Fair? No. But it is what it is. It does me no good to complain, feel angry, argue, resent him for it. I did that for a lot of years, left him over it (I went back), and finally, with a lot of prayer and a lot of reliance on God - I'm over it. There is really no answer - but to go to God, asking for His strength, and to view your jobs as serving Him, not being a slave to your husband.
Good Luck!