Tapped Out

and bled dry.

That's how I feel about it today.

It being all of it, everything. I'm done with it. I'm temped to drop out of life, home school and tell the world to BACK OFF.

It goes a little something like this:

See, we have school. But on top of school, we have to read aloud with the kids at home. But it isn't enough for us to read, the kids now have to read to us. (there are good reasons here, they need to learn fluency in reading, I get that) And if they read their goal, they get a pizza. If they read beyond their goal, they get an additional prize from the prize box (that I stock so I don't see the big deal). But if they go above their goal, their goal is increased. Both kids went above their goals, I have to listen to an extra couple hundred minuted of "C-A-T, C-AT, cat, R-A-N, R-AN, ran..." Kill me now. Apparently the extra face to face time is good for the kids.

They come home from church with worksheets for the family. If the family does the work sheets, the kids get a prize the next Sunday. Growing in faith together.

They come home from basketball with homework. Not how to dribble homework, but memory verses (yes, it is Christian basketball). If they memorize their verses they get a star to put on their uniforms. Spending time together without the competitive atmosphere.

And let us not lessen the importance of the family meal which, if we don't want our daughter to end up pregnant out of wedlock and our boys to not be in prison, we must have everyday. And the family devotions and prayer time together because Joe Schmo said we should do it whether we like it or not because it teaches our children discipline in faith matters (I'm all for writing it on our doorposts and walls and talking about it when we sit down and when we stand up, I'm not a fan of getting out the ole King James and torturing them through the phonebook that is Numbers). And making sure Dad reads out loud to them to demonstrate that men read, too.

When is enough enough? Why does the world get to dictate what my family does together? We are do busy DOING that we don't have a chance to BE. What if what we like to do together is read chapter books (the parents who are fluent readers)? Or go bowling? Or build something out of tree limbs? Or go to the park. Or play hide and seek?

We have no time to do such things because people are imposing family togetherness upon us in contrived ways and rewarding the kids for us falling into line. No hours left in the day because we are do busy DOING. And if we don't DO the kids suffer because they are embarrassed that they didn't do and sad that they didn't get. And I know that some of that is life (I've read Coloring Outside the Lines), but I want to help them out on the things they really care about. and they are young enough that they really care about achieving whatever goal was set forth.

But Mama is tired. Tired of shoving all the requirements into the fraction of the day I get with my kids and tired of feeling like a drill sergeant. I'm beginning to be one of THOSE parents who lets it go and my kids aren't getting the pizzas and stars and power bucks because sometimes kids just need to go outside and play in the snow.

Which brings me to a thought I had this evening. Washing machines. Good, or bad?

See, I ran around the house this evening filling and starting all of my machines. Boy isn't it great that we have these machines to do our work for us? Well, yeah, unless you think about the fact that when we handwashed, we didn't have so many dishes or clothes and neither did anyone else and it was perfectly normal to wear the same thing all the time. And we wouldn't have closets full of clothes because who would want to wash so many? So we wouldn't spend so much on clothes. So we wouldn't have to work so many hours a week to pay for so many clothes.

Yes, the grinch has invaded my home. I do apparently think I need to go back in time. Except I'm pretty sure my nose would prefer to stay right here. Not a fan of the BO.