Monday, September 22, 2008

The Makings of a Great Monday

1. Make sure your husband has Toastmaster's so he is up and creaking around the bedroom at the butt-crack of dawn...and gone by the time he can be of any use to you.

2. Make sure your kids have a field trip that they know about so they wake up super excited and unable to focus on small, insignificant details such as eating breakfast and getting dressed.

3. Whatever you do, don't pack lunches (in a throwaway bag with a throwaway drink) the night before.

4. Make sure that your know-it-all "helpful" kids drag their sunscreen and bug spray OUT of the van so you have to run all over tarnation trying to get it in the same place to spray them when you SHOULD be heading off to school.

5. Make sure you mention to the kids that you are only providing two quarters to each kid to feed the goats and that if they want to feed more than $0.50 worth of animals they should bring their own money.

6. So they go scrambling all over the house trying to find their money and there is great wailing and gnashing of teeth that they don't have $5.00 worth of quarters to stuff down the gullet of some overfed duck.

7. Don't triple check that the kids brought their back packs in which you lovingly placed each person's lunch.

8. Forget to remind them to brush their teeth and hair and wash their faces.

9. Screech at them when you get to school, "Where is your backpack?!? Did you brush your teeth? Why not? I guess you have no lunch then!"

10. Make kids burst into tears.

11. Break the sound barrier while you hightail it home to get aforementioned lunch.

12. (Stop and thank God that that police officer you saw coming around the bend came 30 seconds after you.) (Okay, I wasn't speeding....much.)

13. Grab backpack from living room without checking contents because you specifically lovingly placed lunch into back pack, didn't you?

14. Get back to school with empty backpack.

15. Mooch off the church to make dry peanut butter sandwich. Hand dollar to teacher and plead insanity, begging them to buy overpriced drink for poor underfed kid.

16. Hope that the other two kids don't think they were gypped because they got a "good" meal but no drink from the snack bar.

17. Come home to discover that the trash guys who typically come at 4:30 in the afternoon, decided to come at 8:45 this morning...before you've put out half the trash.

18. Have husband call with "not-so-great news."

19. Pull your bully of a toddler off his friend more than one time as he goes in for the kill because she thought she might like to play with some toy he hasn't touched in a week.

Other than THAT, I'd say it's been a relatively uneventful, peaceful and happy morning. ;)

2 comments:

Nurse Boy said...

I am tired just sitting at my computer reading about your day! I will pray tomorrow is MUCH better!! At least you have your sense of humor. BTW, I am going to steal that "butt crack of dawn." Funny!!

Mrs. Nurse Boy

Theresa said...

Those kind of days just wear on you! AND it's always worse when it happens on a Monday, for some reason.

Here's hoping that the rest of the week goes smoothly!