Thursday, November 27, 2008

Crap Bathrooms

I have a new thing to be thankful for:

Crap Bathrooms.

Two days ago I was commiserating with a friend on facebook about crap bathrooms. Ugly. Outdated. Embarassing. Gross. These are the words we used. Poor us. We don't have beautiful bathrooms to which we can escape (on, oh, so many levels).

I have a word for her and myself.

Crap bathrooms with crap lighting are the bomb.

You know what you get when you have lovely bathrooms with lovely lighting and big, lovely mirrirs?

Cellulite magnifiers.

A girl can't climb into or out of the shower without determining in her heart to fast the Thanksgiving meal and any meal that should forthwith follow for however long it should take to remove the saggy, baggy elephant that has taken over her stomach or the hail damage that affects her thighs and butt.

My bathroom may have mildew that won't die. It may have cabinetry from the 70s or no cabinetry at all (save the wire over-the-toilet-shelve), but the mirrors are all either too little, too high, or simply absent.

Father God in Heaven, my psyche thanks you for choosing for me a home that keeps it in the dark about what is really going on south of the noggin.

4 comments:

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

I have two crap bathrooms and, yes, my mirrors are high up and lie to me as well. I, too, am thankful for that. But, what are the benefits of all the urine behind, on, and ALL around the toilets? Please tell me there is something to be thankful for in that!

Mrs. Nurse Boy

Lynette said...

My bathroom is nothing fancy, but it does have a glass shower directly across from a very large mirror.

It's frightening.

Imperfect Mom said...

Slight different, but along the same thinking, this is why I don't get my eyes checked. If I actually got glasses, I fear what I would be able to see.

Chaos-Jamie said...

Oh, Lynette, you poor thing.

I used to clean a house with a glass shower and even then, before babies, I shuddered.