Found

I was driving home tonight after a decompression time with a couple friends going through a similar trial and I was thinking about blogging topics and all I could think to say is this:

I feel found.

I'm found.

I don't know how to describe it. And even typing it makes me rethink it. It doesn't make sense. Not exactly.

Maybe I'm coming into myself. Or I know that even though I get disgusted with my self, I am comfortable with myself. Which is a joke because I'm so not. And I'm still a bit discouraged and I have bad days. Today being one of them. But I can't help but feel as if I'm struggling FOR something.

I'm found.

I was so lukewarm for so long that I forgot what hot felt like. There were times when I prayed to just be cold so as to feel SOMETHING. And it was a long, dark time.

And now I feel found.

Tomorrow I may be lukewarm and lost again, but tonight I'm going to consider myself that one sheep out of a hundred.

Found.