Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Just Call Me Cat Woman

So, Monday morning I noticed that my garage smelled like animal excrement. As I do not have an animal, I was a bit upset. Better said, I was threatening to quit feeding the cat that moved in under my porch.

Not that I've seen that cat anywhere near my garage. S/he's far to skittish and afraid of us to attempt such nonsense as the garage.

I later found the pile. I think it was dog doo. It was certainly larger doo than the cat has been laying down in my lily bed, next to her door, under my porch. But now that I'm thinking about it, there has been this large cat prowling about. The doo could have potentially fit that cat. But don't cat's go in dirt?


So we start feeding this cat, right? The little black one that lives under the porch. That my neighbor tells me I will have to register if I continue to feed. And, as I missed pet amnisty day and am still feeding, am probably breaking some rediculous law that I don't know anything about except that I am breaking it. Gee, thanks for that Ben. Now I'm willfully breaking the law by honoring my mother-in-law by feeding the cat that lives under my porch.

Life is too short for this kind of guilt. There are starving children in Africa, you know? And we are all worked up about whether cats are registered. Maybe we deserve to have our economy crash.


Did I mention that I have PMS?

But my point is this: suddenly my house is cat haven. All these cats have been coming around. First the black kitty. A week ago this large grey striped cat prances into the backyard. The kids go bezerk, first terrified and then wanting to feed it. And they do until I put the lid on that behavior. It looked plenty well fed and I only have guilt for the cats that are MIL sanctioned.

But it keeps coming around.

I KNEW that little kitty couldn't be eating that much food.

And then yesterday, I saw this big white cat, HUGE, with big grey spots, nosing around my porch, trying to swipe the goods out of my hungry little kitty's babrie bowl.

And then TODAY, the striped cat was back, rubbing all over all of us, looking for a handout. Meanwhile, the starving black kitty can't get to the barbie bowl because it seems to be afraid to walk past me to get to it. And then I figure out it isn't ME, but the big grey cat. So I MOVE the barbie bowl to the kitty.

That still won't let me touch it.

I hate cats.

But s/he did sneak up on me later and wrap her/himself around my legs, once, before darting away.

I like to think of it as gratitude.

To which I must say, "'bout stinking time! Who buys your food, anyway?"

But all those other critters that are coming around are going to have to take a long walk away from my house.

I am no cat woman.

Maybe this is why all the neighbors have those yappy dogs. How DO the cats survive?

Oh, right. My yard.

I wonder if someone will loan me a dog for a week?


Sir Nottaguy-Imadad said...

Sparky the wonder dragon LOVES cats. He says they taste like chicken.

Anonymous said...

I just went on to the cities website and low and behold, we're supposed to register our pets.

I have never, in my entire life, registered a pet. I suppose that makes me a crazy kind of rebel.

From what I can tell, the only real purpose is so that animal control can identify the animal. Otherwise it goes to the shelter. I see no mention of fines or any such nonsense.

So rest easy :). I'd lend you our dog, but since she doesn't do such a hot job stopping our cat from bad behavior, I'm not certain she would be any assistance.

Oh, and I know this will be very unpopular, but you might consider calling animal control. I did see on the city website that any pet you care for has to be provided a dry, warm shelter. With winter coming on, you don't need a neighbor that feels the need to turn you in because you didn't provide a toasty house for the cat(s).

mommy4life said...

We got a phone call last week threatening to issue a citation if we don't register our cat that never leaves the house. You also have to have a valid rabies shot certificate to register the animal which means a trip to the vet. Kitty is now more expensive....

Anonymous said...

Was it a call from the city?

Milo is up-to-date on all his shots, so that's not a problem, but I'm not registering a cat that never leaves the house.......thus never needing to be returned to me in the even animal control picks him up.