Wednesday, February 28, 2007

A Phonics Lesson

Courtesy Princess, age five.

Her teacher's name is Mrs C. I saw an envelope addressed to her this week:

"Miss isee" Well, yeah, I'm sure she answers to that, too.

And here is Princess' story she wrote yesterday, with my translation:

vu caoe sleps in u pns tn vu caoe uax up
(The cow sleeps in the pens then the cow wakes up.)

vu cao gis hut hurt
(The cow gets (I think this is two tries at) hurt.)

va caoo gis btr
(The cow gets better.)

vu caooe gis bedr
(she must have forgotten she'd already done this line.)

vu caooe gose too seep
(The cow goes to sleep.)

vu caooe haz u drem vu dreem iv scirre
(The cow has a dream, the dream is scarry.)

Hes scird us vu dreem
(He's scared of the dream.)

on see noe on it goes ba too slep
(When see no one it goes back to sleep.)

Ah, let the expression of ideas begin!

He's Always Been So Sensitive

Yesterday I read Eldest a book about Abraham Lincoln. We like Lincoln in this house so he already knew the story, basically. He really knows a lot about several of the presidents. Probably more than his mother.

He wants to live in the White House when he grows up, but doesn't want to be president. He's leaving that to his girl friend down the street. He wants to be the first husband. He says being president means you get shot in the head. I can't convince him otherwise.

So I finished the book yesterday and he rested his head against my arm. I thought he was sleepy...until I heard the beginnings of tears.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm sad that Abraham Lincoln is dead."

"Oh, hon, he'd be dead by now anyway."

"I'm sad that he got shot in the head."

"Well, yeah, that is sad." (It didn't even say that in this book.)

"I'm sad about the other president that got shot in the head, too. (pause) Kennedy."

He cried for quite a while. I wish we all felt as passionate about our presidents, past and current.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Chocolate Beach by Julie Carobini

Dude-ettes, you gotta get this book.

I happened upon Julie's blog nigh upon a year ago...back when we could shamelessly promote our blog on the ACFW loop and she wanted comments on a dead email Friday. She cracked me up and I kept visiting.

So, I heard about Chocolate Beach back when February 2007 seemed like an eon away and I looked forward to its release. I got to see its cover in the planning stages (I think I voted that the title should be in bolder print). I celebrated when the promotional web stuff began to come out.

And then I began to fret.

What if I hated it?

It is her first novel, ya know.

Because by this time I'd been reviewing for a while. And there is nothing like reading a bunch of mediocre books to make a person a little cynical about another book, by another author.

After I had been reviewing books for a while I noticed a trend beginning. I'd look forward to a book with great anticipation only to begin it and grow in disappointment as I read.

I found that I wasn't too fond of the mom-lit genre in general. Too whiny.


It is sassy women's fiction. The genre I thought I created right up until I found Julie's web site. And sassy women's fiction is ever so much better than mom-lit.

So anyway, I started Chocolate Beach a little wary. First because I wanted so badly to like a fellow blogger's book and second because I was afraid that I wouldn't.

But I loved it from page one. And I read all 334 pages in no time flat. Something less than a day, I believe. And she had me cracking up. Really and truly laugh-out-loud funny. And it takes a lot to get that out of me anymore.

So, I could give you back cover copy about Bri Stone and her awesome beach life that she worries her husband is so over...but you know what? That copy doesn't do it justice, so you're just gonna have to trust me, K?

If you are a chocolate lover, the cover should be enough to make you lick your lips and buy it.
If you aren't, know that you don't have to love chocolate to love the book.

You just have to be able to tolerate a brownie batter fight...and chocolate chili.

Gotta Love 'Em

This morning, as I was trying to ignore my short people who got up before the sun, I heard this conversation:

"Frodo took my tissues."

"Princess, you don't need to blow yours nose, you just sniff yours snot like this (snAARF!)."

What a delicious thought at 6:22 on a Monday morning.

Later, as Frodo and I were driving he informed me, "I don't have to blow mys nose, I just sniff it...and sometimes I eat it. It tastes good. Like chips."

See why I use pseudonyms for these poor kids? In fifteen years some cruel chick will google Frodo and come up with nuthin.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Something's Wrong With Me

My in-laws are due here in less than an hour. Instead of "picking up" (which, incidentally, needs to happen) , I am scrubbing the walls.

I know it is early, but I only do this when I'm within 48 hours of labor.

I wonder.....

I Don't know What They are Talking About

I'm not "nesting...."

No I did not clean out and vacuum my van yesterday, freeze three meals and dust the inside of my TV cabinet at 10PM.

I did not fry 18 pounds of hamburger and freeze it in one pound portions this week.

Didn't cook four pounds of turkey and freeze it either. (Well, we ate the other pounds.)

I did not just vacuum under my daughter's bed and bookcase.

Didn't spend hours organizing my laundry room last weekend.

Didn't dust and fix my ceiling fan last night.

Scrub the mildew out of the runners of my shower door.

Clean my baseboards.

Organize the kids books.

Dust the plate rail in my kitchen.

Make four dozen cookies for the freezer...with plans to do a few more dozen.

Sort all my paper and drop it at the proper recycling locations.

Sort the puzzles.

Sort the cd drawer.

Or maybe I did.

I'm sure that isn't all, but you get the point. And if those are just normal, everyday, activities for you, more power to ya.

Ah, Vindication!

My kids both came home from school with these notes from the librarian that said, "Our Shelves are getting empty, Are your's getting full?" With a list of the books they supposedly still have.

At least one of the books, I've never seen. One I distinctly remembered finding and sending back with Princess. The other we had ages ago and I'm wondering how it could be in my house and not seen since September.

So, book by book, I went through my bookshelves, van, car and didn't find them.

I've declared that they have to be at the school. There is no other option.

This morning I went to the school a half hour early and combed the library's shelves.

What did I find? All, yes ALL the books.

When I'm right, I'm right.

Granted, sometimes I'm wrong and just as vocal, but this time I'm right.

And since I'm talking about kids books, I'm going through this list now. Some I agree with, some I plan to check out and see before I commit.

Thursday, February 22, 2007


I lost someone yesterday. And I wasn't the one who lost anyone. But I was looking forward to this someone.

And my belly is still huge.

My father has suffered survivors guilt for years since his company was sent to Vietnam while he was sent to Germany...and his whole company was obliterated sans him. We are of course glad to have him, but the pain he suffers anytime there is a documentary is awful. I hope he doesn't read this.

I think I have baby surviving guilt. In this warmer weather, I find myself trying to hide a nearly full term belly behind big warm clothes instead of the cooler she's-obviously-going-to-pop-soon clothes. Hiding from everyone. Because you never know if that sad (or happy-ish) looking woman in aisle 3 is dying to be pregnant and my waddle hurts her on the deepest level.

But today I'm grieving another loss and wondering if my presence will hurt or help.

Super Size Me

Last night Hubs and I watched "Super Size Me," and independent film (documentary) of a guy who only ate McDonald's for a month and the effect it had on his body.

I'm grossed out.

I knew it. I did. I really don't eat a whole lot of McDonald's anyway.




Some of the info he spliced in between him barfing french fries all over the parking lot made me re-evaluate everything my family puts in their mouths...again.

Yesterday I cooked a turkey breast. After the movie I picked the carcass, flinging skin, bones and fat into the trash and gagging. I'm beginning to wonder if I will get to enjoy my favorite treat of ice cream after the kids are in bed at night, ever again. (Because not only McDonald's took a hit, they attacked Baskin Robbins, too.)

Ugh. I still want to puke.

So, if you want to induce self flagellation go rent this one: Oh, with a warning, this is secular and therefore the language and lifestyle is....below par. But the info is worth it.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Anyone else....

tired of getting Viagra email?

For every one email I get from a friend, I think I get 10 trying to make my parts larger.

Yeah, good luck with that.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007


I'm losing sleep at a time when I really need it.

I can't seem to make myself do anything but maintain.

I can't seem to even maintain.

Thankfully people are bringing my family food.

But write?

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha .....HA!!!!!!!

Thursday, February 15, 2007

What A Man!

I was going to blog yesterday on "WHY I DETEST VALENTINES DAY," but since I spent Tuesday night with my head in the sink (because I can't bend over enough to stick my head in the toilet) I spent yesterday on the couch eating saltines and drinking Sprite. Yet another reason to detest V-Day, but that's for next year.

I'd just like to take a moment to brag on Hubs who brought his sweet daughter roses last night. She lit up like a Christmas tree and didn't quite understand (she knew it was v-day...just didn't understand why Daddy brought her flowers). Princess has had a bit of a crushing blow to her self confidence the last few months and we've been really worried about her attitude and self-image. But that Daddy thought of that without my input at all...well that made my day.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

My Stomach Keeps Popping

There is a certain spot that keeps making a pop, or crack, or snap...can't really describe a zipper (which I haven't worn for months) snapping down--when the baby kicks it.

It is really bizarre and wholly unnatural.

Snow Day!

Seriously. Is is just me or are schools these days cancel happy? I know this would never have shut down school in MY day. And my day wasn't all that long ago, was it?

Hubs says they are suit scared.

What a world we live in when education is less valued than avoiding a payout (because, of course, education is less valued than getting the big payout, I suppose...)


I just finished this book last night. It was quite interesting considering how applicable it seems at the outset to be to my life. But it didn't take three pages for me to know that this tribute by a black man to his white mother had nothing but skin color for me to compare. It was still excellent.

Monday, February 12, 2007

What Kind of Mother...

allows herself to be paid to let her three-year-old play with lighters?

The same kind, I suppose, who saves dirty diapers and evaluates wipes for money.

Shoot, if my kid can be paid $2 a minute to see if a child proof lighter is really childproof, I'm all for it.

College here we come.

I do think I have a limit. I don't think I'd let them test out allergy meds on my kids or anything. (The lighters had no fuel. I'm not stupid.)

And I read the best book this weekend. It isn't out yet, but you should pre-order this one!

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Agent / Writing Update

For those of you who encouraged me to query the agent that I wasn't really ready to query I should let you know I did.

She's looking at a partial now.

I can't decide how to have people pray, so it seems like a good time to let the Holy Spirit intercede.

Unless I get my MS "done--done" before this baby comes out, it ain't-a-goina-happen.

Of course it has been "done" so many times it's no wonder I can't seem to get it done again.

On the other hand, it looks like Focus on the Family is doing fiction again. Of course, the acquisitions editor is a different person, so who knows whether I'll ever resurface there, but hey, a girl can dream.

Spinning Plates

You know those days where you have all your plates spinning and everything comes together perfectly? Yesterday wasn't one of those.

Today isn't looking to be much better.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Easy As Pie

Why do people say that? Have you ever made a pie? It isn't easy. That is unless you use a frozen pie crust, a can of pie filling and Cool Whip. And then it isn't (probably) a good pie. Well, it isn't my mom's pie.

I suppose no one ever said easy as good pie.

Just doing my best to expose the inconsistencies of the English language, yet again.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Just So You Know

If you think it might be a good idea to take your kids to a Superbowl party(across town about 45 minutes) on Sunday night, after they've spent Saturday night in a hotel with their grandparents, after you went to Friday night growth group meeting...each night resulting in an after 10 bedtime when your kids normally crash about 7...

It isn't.

Unless you like dragging them out of bed for school and then later cleaning puke out of your van because, for example, you thought your daughter was just sleepy instead of sick.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

I Don't Know Why...

I Torture Myself.

Every Saturday morning, I get an email from an adoption agency with their "hard to place" babies.

Every Saturday morning, I look.

Some Saturday mornings I find something that piques my interest.

For example, the baby that is due in two weeks is Female (a sister for Princess) and part Caucasian, part Hispanic, part African American (to "match" Eldest). They want an adoptive family with a racial mix to have some similarity to the child. Oh, and the adoptive family must resides where?


Why do I look?

Friday, February 02, 2007

Scented Dreams

I awakened in the middle of the night to the very strong scent of coffee. So much so I wondered if I had accidentally turned my coffee maker on before I went up to bed. Of course, the longer I lay there the less I could smell it.

This happens to me a lot. Something I have absolutely no recollection of in my dream world will awaken with me and leave me terrified, or smelling something, or furious, or frightened.

Am I alone here? Especially the smelling thing.

That's just weird, right?

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Holy Spirit? Murphy's Law?

Have you ever had this experience?

I was tossing my junk mail when I came across a postcard from a heating and cooling firm with coupons. My thoughts? If I pitch this, my furnace will blow....

I pitched it.

Same morning, probably minutes later I was paying bills. I came to one where I could pay the normal amount or extra. We have the money for a little extra this month. I thought, "If I don't pay the extra, we won't need it. If I do, the furnace will blow..."

I paid it.

Not an hour after the postman picked the bill up...

Yes, it did.