Friday, June 22, 2007

Well, that backfired

There are things I never knew about being the mother of boys. Like underwear. Boys, like mommies, decide they need privacy when they are in their underwear. So things like underwear being too small may slip some less aware moms.

Like me.

And then one day you see your kid in his underwear and realize they are W-A-Y too small. And you look at the tag the next time they come through the laundry and, WOW, has it been that long? Like since you were potty training? My almost-seven-year-old literally had a pair of size 2 underwear he was still squeezing into. Now, the elastic is shot (as you can well imagine) so when you hold them up to the 4s and 6s they don't look like a 2, but you know...

So I confiscated all his underwear, told him that they were no longer his, and I would get him some. (The better ones got passed down to Frodo who had been swiping them for several weeks anyway. Spiderman, ya know.)

Meanwhile at Wal-Mart....

I found fancy pants for my kiddo. A whole new stack. And right next to the underwear were some Spidey t-shirts that I thought he'd get a kick out of. The kid is so picky about clothes. It takes him more than a year to get used to something "new" and it is often too small, and passed down to Frodo, before he decides he likes it. At which time he wears it. Too small.

I want to put a sign on his back that says, "I really do buy his clothes to fit, he just won't wear them!"

So I thought, "Yeah, I'll buy him these new underwear, these two new shirts and these camo shorts (loves camo) and I just know he'll wear them."

Yeah, right.

So Frodo, this morning, wonders why he didn't get anything. Well, Frodo, you get all of Eldest's "new" unused clothes. You don't need anything. Besides, all you wear is PJ pals anyway....

Next thing I know, Eldest is still wearing Frodo's USA shirt from 2003 (used to be his) and Frodo is decked out in Eldest's size 7 brand spanking new Spidey shirt and underwear.

One could say that Eldest is being compassionate. Which he is. He saw the envy and took care of the problem. He even let Frodo pick which shirt and underwear he wanted. (Is this even my kid? Makes me feel really selfish and petty.)

All I see is that there is NOTHING I can do to get him to wear clothes that fit. Either one. Frodo is always in clothes too big and Eldest in clothes too small. I may as well just put all their clothes together and let 'em at it.

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