Wednesday, March 30, 2011

(Non-Spiritual) Things I Learned in the Holy Lands

This is by no means an exhaustive list.

1. Toilet paper is a I intend to partake of indefinitely. And while we're on the subject, so are toilet seats, toilets, stall doors and free bathrooms.

2. I am singularly amazed at how little Brent and I have to fight about when the biggest responsibility either of us has is to make it onto the bus by 8:30. Would you like Coke or Pepsi? Oh, whatever you want. Would you like the last drink of this latte? No, that's OK, you finish it. Wanna go for a walk on the beach? Sure.

3. I get claustrophobic. I nearly went stark raving mad one morning on the bus.

4. It is possible to be dressed very conservatively and still be "nekked" in Jerusalem. If you are at the Western Wall, you'd better darn well have your shoulders arms covered. If you are at the Dome of the Rock, cover your head. It will just go better for you.Of course, if you are a man, flip what is covered, when.

blue shawl provided by hysterical offended woman (I was mortified that I had offended so greatly)

You can't see his head covering here, but trust me, he's wearing it. And I made the shawl more manageable.

I was invisible until I flipped the scarf over my head and suddenly people are offering to take our picture.
5. Easter is represented by an ostrich. Somewhere. Not in the states? No? Did we make a mistake?

6. Armenians take their birthplace of Jesus VERY seriously.

7. It is possible to submerge yourself in EVERY body of water in Israel. Which tells you how much water is there.

8. Octopi die of boredom.

9. I had no idea that the statement "Shut Up!" Could make me laugh so hard. In close second is "No with the lafink."
I got in quite a bit of trouble for a woman of 35 years.

10. I am quite capable of eating kosher for two weeks.

11. Brie with cucumbers and tomatoes is my new favorite breakfast. Unfortunately cucumbers and tomatoes won't be in season for four more months...and brie is hard to come by around these parts.

12. I do not fancy anchovies with my brie.

13. Carp aren't good kissers.
St. Peter's fish leave something to be desired.
14. Brent and I are.
I kinda like him. Even with the headdress. (Look at those nekked arms!)


mommy4life said...

It looks like this was a great time away for you two! I am so glad you were able to go! We loved seeing your kiddos while you were gone, too!

Sarah Beyer said...

This list will be so helpful for me if I ever get to visit. Thank you for the meaningful education. :) Loved the picture of you laughing. I used to laugh like that during communion when the entire church body tipped their heads back at the same time. It got me every time. But then I turned 36 and I've matured...apparently more than you.

Chaos-Jamie said...

oh great, there goes my maturity during communion. thanks for that.

Mrs. D said...

Hilarious! Love the shawl, you heathen!