Thursday, April 05, 2012

Jealous Much? Green Just isn't Your Color.

On March 13, a fellow adoptive mama asked me, "Are we hoping to be submitted the 21st or is the 28th more realistic?"
My response was, "I'm hoping for the 14th. But, yeah, the 28th is more realistic so let's check our email tomorrow, hope for the 21st and expect the 28th." Big laugh. Ha. Ha. Ha....

On the 14th, late in the day, I got an email that said, "You were the only family submitted to embassy today."

I was floored. And so excited. And paralyzed because I didn't know what to tell my friends. There were nine families that went to court at the same time as we did. Four on our date (three plus us), one on the 9th and two (plus two more that we didn't meet) on the 11th. We have walked most of this later process together. Some were passed in court, some (including us) were not. Some got court decrees sooner. Some (us included) were delayed. We all got birth certificates on the same day. All nine families. And then came the info about the passports. Three families (us included) didn't get one. A week later, all the kids went to see the embassy doctor. When I and a few others got the note letting us know that our MOWA letter was in ahead of time, I was whooping it up. (We might get these kids home in April yet!) So submission, ahead of the pack, left me a little floored. Why, when I'd been behind for so long, had I rocketed forward? And how did I tell my friends?

And in the midst of it all I told God, "I know some part of me is going to try to take credit for this, so I'm going to go ahead and repent now and give You all the glory."

Yes and amen.

March 21, I got a note from the embassy letting me know they had my stuff.
As did a couple of other families, those submitted on the 21st.
On March 22nd, I got an email requesting a birth parent interview.
On March 23, 24, and 25th I waited to see if we would get our requested days April 2 or 3. Because if we did, we'd be on a plane on April 5.

That would be today.

I did not get that email.

On March 26th I got the email saying our interview was scheduled for the first available time slot: April 12.

I rejoiced. 

March 26th was the same day one of the families submitted on the 21st got a request for interview. By the time they got theirs scheduled, it was for April 16th.
And then they got another email that said, they'd opened another interview slot and they could have it. April 6.

I deflated a little bit. Though SUPREMELY excited for my friend, part of me said, "hey, wait...."
(as always, there is more to this story, but it isn't my story to tell)

So, as all this is coming down, another friend gets submitted on the 28th.
She woke up yesterday morning to an email that said, your interview is scheduled for TODAY.
She woke today to an email that said, "you have been cleared."
She is leaving on a jet plane on Saturday.
And though SUPREMELY excited for my friend, there is this little part of me that is saying, "what the....?"

Then God reminded me that I was happy with my dates before people started rocketing ahead of me.

I'm not ready to go anyway.

But that has not necessarily slowed the formation of tears.

As an aside, the three people that stood in court with me on Dec 30, were only submitted to embassy yesterday. I have NOTHING to complain about. I do know that.

And I'm terrified.
And I have so much to do.
But I'm going to miss my little girl's birthday.
And what is she going to think when the people who were there with us come and get their kids and we.....don't?

And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

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