Veteran Survivors...thank you, too

When I was a child I never really could understand my father’s propensity for tears during a parade. Yes, I was probably too distracted worrying about when a float would go by that would have people throwing candy than I was about why my father stood silently saluting a flag carried by old men. It did strike me as odd, though that he found parades so sad.

And I never really understood why we spent the first day of summer haunting cemeteries. I’d sit hunched in the backseat of our sedan as the day grew long, fuming at the injustice of missing a day at the pool while Dad’s shoulders heaved over in the corner at a grey memorial.

I started to grasp that Dad might have a story once I entered high school and began writing a research paper on the men who served in Vietnam. When I mentioned that I’d like to speak to uncles who’d served, Dad erupted in anger and then dissolved into a heap of misery the likes of which I never saw before or since. And slowly his story emerged.

As his father before him did when Pearl Harbor was bombed, Dad enlisted when things began to heat up in Vietnam. Dad went to boot camp in Louisiana and, as often happens in the companies that do boot camp together, Dad and his fellow enlistees bonded. When it came time to ship out, however, Dad was sent to patrol in Germany while the rest of his company was sent to the heart of the action in Vietnam.

The day that changed my father forever was the day he opened a military paper listing the latest fatalities in Vietnam. His entire company, minus him, was listed. They were all dead.

In my teen angst I found myself angry at Dad for his despair. If he had been with his company, I wouldn’t exist. But as I’ve matured I’ve come to realize that survivor’s guilt can’t be explained away logically. It just is.

Who really knows why my dad was spared death in Vietnam? Why he was sent to relatively peaceful Germany. Why my sisters and I were allowed to live. The same can be asked on behalf of my father-in-law who spent his military years picking up cigarette butts in Thailand and of my granddad who spent WWII training pilots in the LINK trainer in Florida rather than flying in the Pacific. What I do know is this; they made themselves available to their country just like all the rest.

All too often we are asked “remember our military” and usually that means to remember the dead. At times like these, both my dad and my granddad have been known to say, “I didn’t do a damn thing in the war,” as if fighting and dying is the only price a soldier can pay. And though it is important that we remember the soldiers that paid the ultimate price, I think it is time for us to also remember the brave men and women who enlist, serve, are discharged and go on to live out their lives outside of the military. Their service is just as valuable. Their bravery is no less. And, many times, the grief they carry at the loss of their fallen comrades is more than they can bear alone.

These days I stand proudly at parades beside my father with his hand in mine. I’m no longer confused at his tears, for those old men carrying a flag also bring on my own.

Clinging to the Beam

Hoping to try a full with a double twist dismount.

Thanks Meg.

The Age of Giving Back

Back when my first three kiddos were tiny (2, 2, and new) people would tell me, "Hang in there, soon they'll be able to give back." I interpreted that to mean that they would eventually pick up after themselves and bake their own cookies. It sounded glorious if a bit unrealistic.

I didn't anticipate the mental stimulation.

This morning, less than a block from home, there was a big white TV van driving through the neighborhood that I believe was the home appraisal people. For the next seven minutes my children discussed home appraisal, its purpose, how much they charge and the term "highway robbery" and its root meaning. The reason property taxes goes to public schools and the reason private schools are defined as private. Why it takes so long to pay off a house and how much of each payment goes to property taxes whether or not you use the public school system. And the fact that you do still have to pay "the king" to drive on certain highways. It was VERY enjoyable.

Much more so than the previous conversation about what the proper way to play Old Maid is and how Frodo was doing it wrong and whether Princess was overreacting and whether Frodo was really too loud when yelling "Cookie Crisp!" and whether that would be distracting should he do it in the classroom and how ridiculous it would be for him to do it since there is no Cookie Crisp in the classroom. They were in rare form, I tell ya.

Except it is hard to call it "rare form" when that is the dominant form.

But maybe that's just me.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Nothing quite so cute as hearing your potty trained(ing) two year old chanting "Don't go, don't go!" while dancing in front of the potty waiting for help.

OK, plenty that is cuter, but it is music to this mama's ears.

Good Books, Good Coffee

(Dallas, Texas)- There's nothing better than curling up with a good book and a cup of coffee--and there's no better book than the Bible. Sandra Glahn continues her series of Coffee Cup Bible Studies, presenting Kona with Jonah and Frappe with Philippians. Using creative teaching resources, including the Internet, art, online study groups and more, Glahn provides a special blend of bold and flavorful experiences that will bring participants back for a second cup of God's Word.

Kona with Jonah begins with a brief history of Jonah and Ninevah. Merging historical event with current modern day practicality, Glahn invites readers to take a walk in Jonah's sandals. Coffee sippers will find it hard to escape the similarities as these two worlds collide. Prayer, mercy, city revival and other strong themes will perk the interest and heart of diligent students.

Frappé with Philippians brews for five weeks of strong, powerful conversation about Paul and the heroes of the Philippian church. With detailed study time spent examining the letters of Paul to the Church, readers will come away feeling like they have met with the man himself. With sections entitled "That God Will Get me Out of Here, and Other Prayer Requests Paul Doesn't Make," Glahn keeps the tone of the study light, without disrespecting the seriousness of the study of God's Word.

A Chat Over Coffee w/ Sandra

Women who typically feel they don't have the time to do Bible Study find your studies relevant and easy to use. What's the secret to making the study inviting?

I don't know if there's one secret. Different things appeal to different people. But I do know that with my own personal Bible study time, I've been able to stay fairly consistent Monday through Friday when my daughter is at school. But on the weekends everything changes in our household. Sometimes we travel. Or we sleep later on Saturday. And we rise and go to church on Sunday. Result: my routine gets disrupted. For this reason I often have a more difficult time doing Bible study on the weekends. So I designed the series for Monday-through-Friday study with only short devotional readings on the weekends. The weekday time can require twenty minutes or more; the weekend readings take less than five minutes.

I think the studies also appeal to the right-brained person. As an artsy type, I sometimes engage more with the Bible if I can write out a prayer, draw, view a related video, compose a story, sing a song... And I wrote this series with that person in mind. The devotionals are also full of stories, which most of us love to hear.

In addition (and this is probably the main reason), when I was working full-time, I wanted a study I could stash in my purse without having to lug a Bible and a commentary. I wanted to use my lunch break for a quiet time without parading my resources in front of people. And I think it helps that the Coffee Cup series books don't look like typical Bible studies; they're all-inclusive (text, commentary, questions included); they're small enough to throw in a briefcase or diaper bag; and they're both spiral and bound--making it easier to use on a treadmill or fold in the lap and write on while sitting. In short they're designed for the multi-tasker. I heard from an ob-gyn who uses them as she's sitting in the doctors' lounge waiting for babies to arrive.

And one more thing--I also include a prayer at the end. I heard from an eighty-something man who told me how much those prayers meant. All his life he had struggled with prayer, and that guidance helped him respond to God. I'm glad that a series directed to women didn't scare him off!

In Jonah with Kona, what do you hope participants will take away and apply to their own lives?

We tend to like our own causes best; we like our own country best; we like our denomination best; we like our own families best; we prefer the schools we attended, the neighborhoods where we grew up, our own political party or cause, our gender--even our brand of peanut butter. And somewhere along the way we cross the line from preference to prejudice. We pray for our loved ones but rarely, if ever, our enemies. Mention atheists, opposing politicians, humanists, materialists, homosexuals, and radical feminists in most churches today, and the response you'll evoke will sound nothing like, "Let's pray right now for God to pour out his love."

Genesis tells us that humans are fellow creations of one maker. The qualities of God that so angered Jonah are the very qualities we most need: grace, compassion, patience, mercy, abundant love, and truth. And not just for those we love--but for those we hate. For those who have wronged us. For those who want us dead. For those with whom we strongly disagree. The only possible way we can demonstrate such remarkable goodness is through the power of the Holy Spirit.

The focus of Frappé with Philippians is the life of Paul and the early church. What kind of historical research did you do and did you learn any surprising facts as you compiled your information?

I think it's enormously important to understand the world in which Paul was writing. Let's take the view of women, for example. The Jews were the most conservative. The Greeks were better, though greatly influenced by Aristotle's low view of women. And the Roman women had the most freedom--even owning property and supervising gymnasiums. Knowing a city's predominant citizenship helps us understand Paul's letters on such issues.

My PhD work relates a lot to the Greek pantheon and Greek and Roman history. The historical backgrounds for the Bible books are essential, and fortunately they interest me.

I also love getting a sense of the geography, if I can. I had the advantage this summer of taking a clipper to follow the journeys of Paul. Some of our stops included Corinth, Troas, Neapolis, Philippi, and Athens.

One sentence out of the mouth of a guide in Corinth really stuck with me, as she provided a key to understanding the cities we visited. She mentioned that while American visitors seem generally uninterested in talk of gods and goddesses, knowing which member of the Greek pantheon a city worshiped is essential to understanding that city's mentality. The more I thought about this, the more sense it made:

ATHENS. Athena was the goddess of wisdom, so citizens of Athens wanted their city to reflect culture, religion, and philosophy. And sure enough, in Acts 17 we find Stoic and Epicurean philosophers hanging out at the Areopagus (Mars Hill). Paul affirms them for being religious, and rather than dissing their many false gods, he zeroes in on their altar to the unknown God and tells them about this Almighty one who was not made with hands--One who is never far from any of us.

CORINTH. Corinth was the home of Aphrodite, goddess of love (and not the agape version). Behind the city ruins stands a towering hill at the top of which sat Aphrodite's temple. One could not walk down the street without being conscious of its prominence. Might that explain why the Corinthians had so many issues with sexual immorality, and why Paul tells them that it's good for a man not to touch a woman (1 Cor. 7:1)? For the sake of the kingdom, he encourages them to consider embracing sexual abstinence rather than marrying. How fitting that in a city that prides itself on being a center of love, Paul pens the beautiful definition of true love--known to us as the love chapter (1 Cor. 13).

EPHESUS. Ephesus was home to the virgin Artemis who loved her virgin status and was immune to Aphrodite's love arrows. Among other things, Artemis was the goddess of the hunt. If you take a close look at the Artemis statues from the first and second centuries, you find her legs covered with numerous animals and flanked by a couple of deer. Now, usually we think of women as gatherers and men as hunters. And the fact that Artemis was a hunter suggests she had a less-than-feminine persona. In Ephesus we find stone work with the Amazon story (these women were way independent!), and guides tell visitors that the city was founded by an Amazon queen. The Book of Ephesians was probably intended for more than one city (like Laodicea), so we don't find much that points to a specific city's mentality in that book. But we do find 1 Timothy directed to Paul's protégé in Ephesus, and in it we find an emphasis on widows, women teaching false doctrines, and the need to marry and have children.

When reading the New Testament, I think it's important to find out something of its geography and certainly what member of the Greek pantheon each book's readers were up against. How its authors approached the cities' demons can provide insight for us into engaging a culture that's in love with worldly wisdom, immorality, and a low view of family.

I Don't Know

Do you think, maybe, I've used this washcloth enough that I can throw it away?

Guest Blog

The Jesus Movie for

the Next Generation

www.NewJesusMovie.com

Guest post by Bruce Marchiano, producer of Jesus...No Greater Love

The truth of the gospel never changes. But Christianity has many faces. They reflect the customs and cultures and the beautiful diversity of the global church. They are lined with the wisdom of age and vibrant with the passion of youth. One gospel for all the world…but how will we deliver it in a way that reaches the whole world? How will we reach the next generation?



Young Christians today are more like St. Francis of Assisi than a circuit riding preacher. “Preach the gospel at all times and when necessary, use words.” This is a generation focused on being the hands and feet of Christ and meeting the physical needs of those in both the local and global community. They are building houses, planting gardens, taking food and clothes to the poor and helping the widows and orphans… and then they are sharing the gospel. And they are using technology like never before. They communicate the message through audio, film, video and the internet, and they strive for excellence within those mediums. They must. This is how they will reach their generation for Christ.



I share their passion. In the film, The Gospel According to Matthew, we were able to capture the heart of Christ that is so often missing in Christian films, but the quality of the film making was constrained by an $800,000 budget. Now we are inspiring a movement that will bring Jesus to film in a version that literally leaps off the screen and into the hearts of viewers.

Jesus…No Greater Love, the new Jesus movie, (http://www.newjesusmovie.com/) will be a word for word, verse by verse film adaption of the Gospel according to John. The gospel is the power of God unto salvation. That’s really our concept, that the gospel would go out in the power of the film medium, unaltered by any human script writer.



The budget for a typical Hollywood production is $100-110 million. Actors’ salaries account for much of that cost. Because the new Jesus movie will be not be paying big name actors, our team believes we can produce a world class, state-of-the-art film incorporating the latest cutting-edge technology for just $45 million. The production will be shot on location in Jerusalem and shot digitally using CGI backgrounds and a green screen stage, providing unlimited potential for sharing the gospel for generations to come.



We are inviting people from all nations and all generations to join this movement to bring the gospel to all people. A movement made of 4.5 million people contributing a tax deductible donation of $10 each would fund the cost of the film. The Gospel belongs to everyone, and the new Jesus movie will be produced expressly so it can be accessed by everyone, no matter their financial situation. Our team's vision is to see the film translated into as many languages as possible and supplied to mission organizations and churches all over the world.



You can become a part of the movement to reach the next generation. Please help us spread the word to your friends and family. If you would like to make a donation, you can do so at http://www.newjesusmovie.com./

Also, you can keep up with our progress by visiting any of these links:

www.facebook.com/newjesusmovie

www.twitter.com/brucejesusmovie

www.youtube.com/newjesusmovie

www.tangle.com/newjesusmovie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce Marchiano is an actor, author, international speaker, and the founder of Marchiano Ministries, a non-profit organization reaching out to people both spiritually and practically in the USA and across the world. He is best known for his joyful, passionate portrayal of Jesus in the film, The Gospel According to Matthew.

Scared (and CHANGED)

A while back I posted a press review about the book Scared before I even chanced to read it. The passion in the press review was enough for me to promote a book I hadn't even read by an author I know nothing about. (And then I ordered the book from B&B Media to review.)

Let me tell you, this book is a kick in the teeth, gut, and heart. If you chance to read it and are unchanged, I will question your sensibilities. Unless, of course, you are passionate about the people, particularly the orphans, of Africa. See, I thought I was passionate about orphans, particularly African orphans, but it turns out there are whole new levels of passion that one can mine if they cultivate the passion.

I will, Lord willing, never be the same. In the three days since I finished the book, the urgency has waned, but not the passion. Three days ago I could almost not allow myself to eat. I'm eating now, but I'm still thinking about the food. And the waste. And the children.

(Oh, Lord, the children. Help the children. Make me your instrument.)

I still don't know WHAT I'm going to do, but I'm going to do something. Something MORE. Because the little I do isn't enough.

Pray for me that I may know what it is I am supposed to do.

And, in case you care about such little things as this, the book is a "good read" also. If you can muscle past the horror reflex. (And he's pretty compassionate to his readers in that regard also.)

Here's an interview with the author, first posted by Nicole Wick.

The orphan epidemic that you write about in Scared is a world wide crisis. What lead you to choose Swaziland as the setting for this novel?

Swaziland has the highest rate of HIV infection in the world. UN Statistics estimate between 42-46 percent. If something doesn’t change in the lives of Swazi’s, they will be practically extinct by the year 2050. I felt like that kind of need, right under our noses, was worth writing about.

I’ve also been to Swaziland a number of times so I know the culture and the people well. It’s a beautiful country surrounded by mountains and aesthetic beauty. The people are generous and kind, literally giving you the shirt off of their back as a sign of friendship. I felt like writing a novel like this would motivate others to get involved in this crisis and do something to make a difference.


The heroine of Scared, 12 year old Adanna, is a richly developed character. How important was it for you to portray her as a real, multi-dimensional person not just a portrait of a starving child?

The idea of Adanna does stem from a real girl I met in Swaziland who was twelve years old. Here was this gorgeous little girl who was so filled with life. She was happy, playful and just loved being around our group, hugging me and playing games. The only issue she struggled with besides being shy, was one of incontinence. They thought the poor thing had never been potty trained. They took her to the doctor to find out what was wrong. The director then told me the story about how she arrived at the orphanage. Both of her parents died from AIDS. She was taken in by her uncle. She was made a slave for him and his family. The uncle then began to rape her almost every night. She was incontinent because of the sexual abuse she suffered. I walk around the rest of that day in tears. I couldn’t believe someone would treat a child is such an evil way. Then those kinds of stories became more of the norm. The Adanna’s in Africa are real kids, with dreams and hopes of a good future. One that won’t exist unless the body of Christ gets involved in their lives.

Scared leaves readers wanting to learn more about its main character, Stuart. What can you tell me about your next novel?

Stuart is also based off of a real character named Kevin Carter who took a picture of a Sudanese girl who had fallen down from hunger in the dirt. A plump, healthy vulture landed next to her waiting for her to die. Carter snapped that photo and won the Pulitzer prize. He couldn’t deal with the guilt of becoming famous for something like that and committed suicide fourteen months later.

Stuart is Kevin, if Kevin could have had more to live for. What might his life have looked like if he became a crusader for the vulnerable? That’s Stuart’s life.

The next novel is called, SACRED. It takes place in Russia around the issue of the child sex-slave industry. Much of this billion dollar industry is controlled by the Russian mafia. They steal girls right out of the orphanage because nobody will miss them. This is the next crisis Stuart finds himself in the middle of.


The pastor in the book describes a transformational moment in his life when he realizes he should become the hands and feet of Christ not just His mouthpiece. What lesson do you think Christians can learn from Pastor Walter’s experience?

I think it’s the message for every single person who says they are a Christ follower. I fully believe the biblical understanding of “incarnational ministry.” We are the hands, feet and voice of Jesus. His will occurs through the activity of his people. I realized this traveling to many orphanages in Russia. Everywhere I looked, there were thousands and thousands of fatherless boys and girls. Yet, Psalm 68:5-6 says that God is a Father to the fatherless. I kept asking the question, “Lord, if you are a Father to the fatherless, why to the fatherless suffer so much?” After many prayers and nights of wrestling with God over this issue, the answer came clearly: God is a Father to the fatherless through his people: Me and you. That’s how the kingdom of God comes to earth, how justice comes to situations of injustice, and how people’s lives are changed.


Your organization, Children’s HopeChest, works tirelessly to bring hope to orphans by being His hands and feet. What is the mission of Children’s HopeChest and what is your vision for this important organization in the coming years?

We ‘incarnate’ James 1:27 to the best of our ability. “Pure and undefiled religion is taking care of widows and orphans in their distress.” That’s what we do. Connect people, churches, Christian schools, businesses, and online communities with orphans and orphanages in places like Russia and Africa. We don’t want to just drill wells and provide food, we also want to provide long-term strategies to help them out of poverty. One of the ways we do this by paying for their education all the way through college and university and by providing spiritual mentors who can walk beside them through life and help them navigate the difficult waters.

We’re planning on expanding ministry in India and South Africa sometime in 2010.

DO SOMETHING

Which reminds me of a book I need to tell you about.

I will never be the same.

Lord willing.

Well, That Was Interesting

I just corrected my hunny about who played in the Superbowl last year. And then followed that by filling in the blanks of who played the year before that.

I was feeling rather pleased with myself.

And then he said, "Helps when you only watch one game a year, huh?"

Oh, well, that.

The Well-Behaved Child

The well-behaved child; is it a fantasy? A concoction of some sadist's mind to torment mothers while we sleep?

Several years ago, when I was still striving the be a perfect parent and raise perfect, genius type offspring, (read: before I gave up hope), I stumbled across John Rosemond's Six Point Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children. I remember it being very good if not nearly impossible to implement. But every now and then, in my exasperation, I would bring it out again and consider getting rid of most, if not all, the toys. (This was, apparently, my area of fixation because he said much more than that.) I believe he is also the same newspaper columnist that suggested that rotten to the core children would be cured by losing the TV. We gave it up and our kids grew remarkably tolerable again. (Following his advice also gave me fodder for my first parenting vignette sale.)

The years have gone by. I've quit fighting the TV battle quite so forcefully. I've allowed video games into my home. I've laxed on discipline and allowed "polite" argument. My kids are getting bigger and testing their boundaries, you know, and are generally well(ish) behaved. At school at least.

I was beginning the think that was the best I could hope for, as discouraging as that seemed to be. I mean, who wants to argue, politely or otherwise, all the time? Who wants every directive they give to be a discussion? Who wants to break up fights between the sibs with every waking hour? Who wants to fall into bed every night feeling guilty for not enjoying their kids like they meant to?

So when they opportunity presented itself to review John Rosemond's latest book, The Well-Behaved Child, I jumped at it. And, OK, I admit it, I expected a dry treatise on everything I had done wrong and how if I was consistent and spanked more and for everything my children would magically grow halos.

Obviously, it has been a while since I last read one of his books.

I laughed. And laughed. And LAUGHED. And read excerpts to my husband and LAUGHED.

At least he's funny when he's pointing out your failures. And once you acknowledge that, yes, your child is a normal naughty son of Adam, just like all the rest of us, and it isn't ALL your fault, you can really listen to his thought on correcting the problem.

He gave me permission to say "because I said so." Can you imagine? Ah, enlightenment.

Some things, like authoritative speech, you can implement right off the bat and others will take some processing time. (How, specifically, should we deal with THIS problem?)

We did warn our kids that things, they were a changin'. We didn't come at 'em cold. It was only fair. We've spent, oh, three or four years failing them with inconsistency.

(They aren't liking the new life as they know it, BTW.)

Oh, and no, he isn't a spank-at-all-times-for-all-reasons guy. Maybe that's why I like him. I've been parenting long enough to know that kids need consequences as unique as they are. Outside of the box thinking suits me well. But take my advice, and his, and focus on chapters 1, 2, and 6 instead of caving to the temptations of skipping to the middle pages. Without the foundation, the rest just sounds like the same old solution.

The Swiss Courier

Want to know what I stayed up half the night to read? Here's a hint: WWII. Need another? Suspense. Another? Multiple seemingly unconnected characters that converge in the final chapter.

You got it. Tricia Goyer & Mike Yorkey's latest, The Swiss Courier. It is classic Goyer (Maybe classic Yorkey, too, but I'm not familiar...) in that you can't put it down because you just HAVE TO KNOW how they will converge and survive.

I'm a sucker for WWII. Why I revel in that atrocity, I do not know. I think it is the survivor stories that keep me coming back for more. I blame Corrie Ten Boom. And my mother for putting The Hiding Place in my hand in the first place. And I love how Tricia writes it. I'll say it again and again.

This one had me, too. It starts with this bit of history and then ... the story that follows. And, yes, I googled Joseph Engel physicist, just to make sure it wasn't. His name sounds familiar enough to have been involved, you know? You don't? Whatever.

The book was good, man. Good.



It is August 1944 and the Gestapo is mercilessly rounding up suspected enemies of the Third Reich. When Joseph Engel, a German physicist working on the atomic bomb, finds that he is actually a Jew, adopted by Christian parents, he must flee for his life to neutral Switzerland. Gabi Mueller is a young Swiss-American woman working for the newly formed American Office of Strategic Services (the forerunner to the CIA) close to Nazi Germany. When she is asked to risk her life to safely "courier" Engel out of Germany, the fate of the world rests in her hands. If she can lead him to safety, she can keep the Germans from developing nuclear capabilities. But in a time of traitors and uncertainty, whom can she trust along the way? This fast-paced, suspenseful novel takes readers along treacherous twists and turns during a fascinating--and deadly--time in history.


About the authors:
Tricia Goyer is the author of several books, including Night Song and Dawn of a Thousand Nights, both past winners of the ACFW's Book of the Year Award for Long Historical Romance. Goyer lives with her family in Montana. To find out more visit her website: www.triciagoyer.com
Mike Yorkey is the author or coauthor of dozens of books, including the bestselling Every Man's Battle series. Married to a Swiss native, Yorkey lived in Switzerland for 18 months. He and his family currently reside in California.To find out more visit his website: www.MikeYorkey.com

CONTEST (and this includes CHOCOLATE!)
Pst...pass it on! Help Spread the word about #SwissCourier on Twitter and enter to win a signed copy & Swiss Chocolate!

Just tweet this: The Swiss Courier by @triciagoyer fast paced and suspenseful! Don't miss out! http://tr.im/Ahjs RT #swisscourier and we'll enter you into a drawing for 1 of 5 SIGNED copies of The Swiss Courier!

The Swiss Courier and blog tour materials were provided by LitFuse Publicity Group. See other tour stops here.

In the Arms of Immortals

The Black Death—Revisited

In Book Two of the Chronicles of the Scribe series, popular author Ginger Garrett

takes readers back in time to “the greatest natural disaster to ever strike humanity”

In another heart-stopping historical fiction thriller from the author of In the Shadow of the Lions, critically acclaimed author Ginger Garrett paints a captivating portrait of a time when terror ruled and faith was hard to come by. In the Arms of Immortals (David C Cook, September 2009) travels a richly imagined journey into a key moment of history…the arrival of the Black Death in Europe.

This story of unseen battle, loving presence, and eventual redemption begins when a strange ship docks in a medieval Sicilian harbor. That night an old man falls ill… then the baker’s wife… then a street urchin. By morning half the townspeople are dead and more are dying—horribly. And no one has a clue what is happening or how to stop it. Not the local priest. Not the rich baron or his powerful knight. And not the three women at the heart of this book: the baron’s proud daughter, Panthea, the outcast healer, Gio, and Mariskka, an unwilling visitor from another time.

Though the Church fights to stand between the plague and the people, the sickness is too powerful for a Church that will not allow medicine to be studied outside its walls. The Church holds a monopoly on healing and on God, but when neither rescues the people, the people lose hope in both, and the conflict between Science and Faith begins its long burn. In a time when the faithful have no answers and the faithless terrorize the countryside, only the bravest will dare hold on to a silent God.

The Chronicles of the Scribe Series are thrilling tales of an angelic presence called “the Scribe, the first writer”—dictated to a series of twentieth-century strugglers, but lived out in the pages of history. Each of Garrett’s novels in the series targets a different significant moment of the past—both its mundane reality and supernatural significance—with a special emphasis on women’s experience. Tautly suspenseful and deeply moving, In the Arms of Immortals will deftly lift readers into its fascinating narrative of angels and demons, mortality and immortality.

Chaos here: This book is absolutely captivating from page one. It also borders on the very freaky. Think Peretti where you see both the mortal and the "powers" and add in some Garrett flair. It is beyond disturbing and yet the disturbing nature really sounded like a wake up call.

I didn't read book one, but it's now on my TBR list. (I did, however, read Dark Hour which was also disturbing and excellent.) I confess I got sucked in by the Black Plague (the ole Microbiology fascination kicking in) and was disappointed that the book opened up in present day, had to go through a mental check-your-concept-of-reality-at-the-door and spent several chapters mixing characters up in my mind, but eventually the story won me over. (And just because it opened and closed in present day, you mostly get Black Plague, in case that is what draws you in also.)

Very Good Read.

This book was provided for review by The B&B Media Group.

In the Arms of Immortals (Chronicles of the Scribe, Book Two) by Ginger Garrett

David C Cook/September 2009

ISBN: 978-0-7814-4888-8/softcover/304 pages/$14.99

www.davidccook.com www.gingergarrett.com

The End of Procrastination

Today (and over the weekend) marks the end of several months (or years in one case) of procrastination.

Desk out of garage: Check!
Sort paint: check!
Sort cleaning chemicals: Check!
Library books and movies returned. Check!
Change picked up from church: Check!
Change dumped: Check!
Change taken to bank. Check!
Bath mats returned: Check!
Curtains returned: Check!
Post office: Check!
Paper to paper retriever: Check!
Deposit tiddly check: Check!
Two loads of laundry: Check!
SCHEDULE HAZARDOUS WASTE DROP OFF:

CHECK!

The Sound of Sleigh Bells

I was going to start off this review with the opener, "don't be put off by the cover and title, this isn't just a Christmas book (in October)," but when I skipped over to amazon to get the linky box for below, I realized that with such a high ranking, no one was being put off in the least. Man, how would it be to have everything of yours that hits print to shoot to the top of the rankings? (Yes, she's at 1200 something, but out of how many million books, that is the top!)

So, instead, let me say Congrats Cindy for another terrific book!

Anyway, I have been a lover of Amish novels ever since I discovered Beverly Lewis' The Shunning and I haven't been able to resist them since. I've hit a couple duds (neither by either of the mentioned authors), but for the most part, I'm a lover of the genre. But when Cindy was still an unknown and I got the chance to read her first book (and frankly expecting that it could be a dud), she screamed to the top of my favorite authors (not just Amish writing authors) list. So one must wonder why I was hesitant to read The Sound of Sleigh Bells. Could it be that it sounded Christmassy and it was October? Could it be that I expected a simple romance and I like the way Cindy writes strife? I don't know. But let me just tell you now, I should never have doubted her. It is fantastic. Not quite so much drama as When the Heart Cries, but frankly, I didn't need that this week anyway. Excellently written. Excellently compelling. Excellent.

Beth Hertzler works alongside her beloved Aunt Lizzy in their dry goods store, and serving as contact of sorts between Amish craftsmen and Englischers who want to sell the Plain people’s wares. But remorse and loneliness still echo in her heart everyday as she still wears the dark garb, indicating mourning of her fiancé. When she discovers a large, intricately carved scene of Amish children playing in the snow, something deep inside Beth’s soul responds and she wants to help the unknown artist find homes for his work–including Lizzy’s dry goods store. But she doesn’t know if her bishop will approve of the gorgeous carving or deem it idolatry.

Lizzy sees the changes in her niece when Beth shows her the woodworking, and after Lizzy hunts down Jonah, the artist, she is all the more determined that Beth meets this man with the hands that create healing art. But it’s not that simple–will Lizzy’s elaborate plan to reintroduce her niece to love work? Will Jonah be able to offer Beth the sleigh ride she’s always dreamed of and a second chance at real love–or just more heartbreak?

This book was provided for review by Waterbrook.

Extraordinary

Several weeks ago, I became disgruntled with "the way things were" so to say. I just couldn't believe that God would have us just put in our time, being good humans, good citizens, getting by. Naturally, people around me thought I was having a midlife crisis/clinically depressed/annoying. Yes, I've had a lot of upheaval lately and I entered my mid-thirties (which is not mid-life, Lord willing), but come on. Really? Get up early, put in the work day, watch a little TV, go to bed and start over again the next day? THIS is what we're here for? THIS glorifies God? I don't care how immaculate my house is (which it will never be), I can't imagine that's what God is after in my life. There must be more.

And in one of my particularly introspective moods, the phrase "In relentless pursuit of the extraordinary" popped into my head. Fortunately for me, Hubs has had the same feelings. We don't want to be "normal" and if that offends normal people, so be it. Normal is boring. Normal puts in time on earth in relentless pursuit of death, as far as I'm concerned.

And every since that moment when that phrase entered my mind and I've been searching for my extraordinary, God has confirmed time and time again that I'm on the right path. I'm still searching for my extraordinary, but knowing is half the battle, or so they say.

A couple weeks later, my inbox showed a book available for review from WaterBrook entitled Extraordinary. How about that?

If I described this book as extraordinary, I think I would be accused of overuseage, but if you are searching for something "more" it just might be the thing for you. We weren't meant to be normal. Normal is for the world. If we are no more than normal, what is the point of being a child of God? A believer? What purpose is there to join the ranks? He opens with my thoughts on life as normal, but leads beyond where I knew to go, scripture reference by scripture reference. (The first several scripture references were from The Message which made me rather leery, but he does mix it up with some of the more respected translations the further you get into the book.)

This isn't a book you can read through quickly and still have it sink in. In my experience you have to take small bites and chew on them a while. Or in the words of Disney's movie Aladdin, "Ruminate, whilst I illuminate the possibilities." So I'm still ruminating, but I can see extraordinary on the horizon.

Here's info:

There’s a question that troubles many believers: “Why am I not experiencing more joy, more hope, more satisfaction, more intimacy, more power, more everything in my Christian life--didn’t Jesus promise that?”

He did promise an abundant life, but too many people are trapped by the curse of “the ordinary.” They have accepted the wrong idea that following God means losing individuality, creativity, and a passion for achieving lofty goals.

Nothing could be further from the truth! John Bevere builds a convincing case, straight from Scripture, for a way of living marked by extraordinary experiences and accomplishments—the life God always intended for his children.

Here is a guide to understanding God’s incredible plans, and how to enjoy a life where he adds the “extra” to “ordinary.”

John Bevere is an internationally popular conference speaker, teacher, and author of bestsellers, including The Bait of Satan, Drawing Near, and Driven by Eternity. His award-winning curriculum and books have been translated in over sixty languages and his weekly television program, The Messenger, is broadcast around the world. John and his wife, Lisa—also a bestselling author and speaker—reside with their family in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Visit his ministry website at www.messengerinternational.org.

Going Green is for the Birds

Three, count 'em, three bills went green on me when I wasn't looking. I'm sure that on two of them I "agreed" to it in the four hundred pages of small print terms when I paid a bill online. At least I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt. One set me up for online billing, through Hubs, when Charming was going through his brain thing and I was busy running to doctors and the first day of school.

You know how I know they went green? The delinquency notices.

Excuse me? I pay my bills. What do you mean it went unpaid for three months?

OK, seriously. I get so many bills in this house it is easy to miss one NOT showing up. And then one day my brain thinks, "Hey, it seems like it's been a long time since I got a bill from X." I call in to check and they treat me like I should belong in jail.

The electric company used to always forget to send me a bill in June. It happened so many years in a row (with accompanying late payment charge) that I actually started catching it.

Dress Barn and Kohl's, however. Sigh.

When you have a card ONLY because they send you really great coupons if you use your card and you only use your card when you have a coupon and your bills don't come regularly and your life is in an uproar and you don't notice that you didn't get a bill and one day you get a notice of change in terms and it is oh, a 50% APR or something and you wonder what is up, check your balance and realize you are three months behind?

FRUSTRATING.

You might even go online, immediately pay the stupid bill and think you're in the clear.

NOT SO.

And two days later you get a call from said credit group.

Let's say you immediately call them back. They want your last four digits of your social. For some reason they can't access your account. They want your account number. But you haven't received a paper bill so where is that account number? Mist. That's where it is. So you go online to get the number which they don't actually show (except for the last four digits of that). While there, though, you realize that the bill you know you paid on Sunday hasn't posted as paid yet. You pay it AGAIN, check to see if it is showing paid, it isn't, and realize you probably need to talk to customer service. You dive into the bowels of your files to find the account number (because you don't even have a card with a number on it). You call them again. Get an agent. Explain the problem. Ask what is going on with the online payment. Ask if they are having trouble with your bank. Ask if you are getting online billing (since they send you 14 emails a day that immediately are dumped in the recycle bin because who has time to read all those ads in the morning). They ask for your account number (didn't you just type that in and press pound?).

"Why is your account delinquent?"

DID I NOT JUST EXPLAIN THAT IN VIVID DETAIL???

Yes, I called you to clear something up. Please, treat me like a criminal.

I know, I know. I shouldn't have the card in the first place. But the coupons are really great and I don't use the card if I don't have the money. Yes, I know I should immediately go back to customer service and write them a check right after I pay with the phantom card. I do know this so I don't want the lectures. I'm hacked off because she kept asking me when I was going to pay and why didn't I pay and I told her seventy four times that I tried to pay and DANG IT would she please check if I was getting bills online and could she PLEASE switch me to paper and she reads me my email address as if that helps. I KNOW! MAKE IT STOP.

And yes, while I was on with her I should have canceled the card, but I like the dang coupons.

But grrrr.

I suppose I should cancel. After three months of late payments, I'm sure the stupid coupons were more than canceled out. But it isn't like I have done this AT ALL in ten years.

It seems as if that ought to count for something.

Don't you think?

Denial

Had a convo with Princess last night about a boy she "likes." I asked her, "Like-like or just like?" She said, "I don't know what you mean, Mom." After my explanation she said, "You know.....like. Otherwise I would have used the word love."

Whew.

Fourth grade is TOO YOUNG.

In no particular order

I saw a man, yesterday, decked out from head to toe in bright purple and white plaid. It takes a man secure in his masculinity to pull that one off. He looked pretty secure. I still don't think he pulled it off.

I used coconut collision shampoo on my hair last night. I smell like a fruit today. I doubt it will be enough reminder for me to actually buy grown up shampoo. Some things I simply can't remember.

Speaking of plaid, I saw an ad recently wherein a teenager was wearing the same outfit I was back in 1984 when my mom declared, in no uncertain terms, "You look like an orphan." Apparently the orphan look is back in. (Black leggings, hot pink and black plaid long shirt belted at the waist)

Speaking of leggings, CARRIE, I told you you'd wear them again. (I don't think Carrie reads my blog, but hey...)

My kids slept until 8 this morning. Aside from the frantic scramble to get them out the door ten minutes later, it made for a nice morning. Considering some of them got to bed pretty late, it should also help with the afternoon.

And I guess that is it for my nonsense this morning.

A Slow Burn

To say that I triple pink puffy heart Mary DeMuth's books would be an outright lie.

(How's that for an opener?)

I triple pink puffy heart her writing.
I triple pink puffy heart her ability to captivate me.
I triple pink puffy heart her bravery when writing.
I simply gasp in delight when I find out she has a new book out (when I can pick it up in a blog tour it's even better).
But I can't say, I love her books. And I hate that because they are so darn good.

She tackles issues that I wouldn't touch. I once tried to write an abortion into my novel and simply couldn't do it. Too much controversy. Too much pain. Mary? She tackles sexual abuse and bitterness (Watching the Tree Limbs), interracial relationships (Wishing on Dandelions), child abduction and domestic abuse (Daisy Chain), and drug abuse, infidelity, tiptoes around abortion, and again, interracial relationships (A Slow Burn). But the overriding theme in all her books is redemption. And that's why I keep going back. Life isn't full of pink puffy hearts, for the most part and reality can be ugly. But redemption? It's there--in Jesus. And, as usual, Mary didn't disappoint. A Slow Burn is full of suspense and full of love and full of story and full of redemption. But it sure takes until the final, final, final to get there. Here's hoping book three hurries itself out.

To see what other people think about Mary's latest book A Slow Burn check here.

Time

There are things I used to do that I really enjoyed.

I don't do any of them anymore.

When, WHEN, will I have time to be me again?

Don't tell me this is the new me.

I don't like the new me.

The War Within

Why is it that most of my desires are mutually exclusive?
Things that I want with all of my heart, but can't have both?
How can I know that this is meaningful and still search for meaning?

Restless

I have a curious longing today for college, where people treated me like I was smart and valuable.

Three Weddings & a Bar Mitzvah

Just this spring I found and read Melody Carlson's I Heart Bloomberg and took great enjoyment in reading about these four very different young ladies sharing space, so when I got my paws on Three Weddings & a Bar Mitzvah I was eager to see what else was in store. Imagine my confusion, then, when I couldn't figure out WHAT was going on. It was like we skipped months and plot lines.

Um, yeah. Two books worth. Oops.

But once I started, I figured I'd figure it out. I mostly did. Though I will have to make a run to my library and get the other two before long. I don't care for missed plot lines. (And thankfully the author isn't one of those that spends 3/4 of the book rehashing what came before.) I honestly think it would have been easier had I NOT read the first book, as I think this one would stand alone if I didn't have 1/4 of the plot floating around in the back of my brain.

But, just for giggles, here's the info on this one. But I would prefer to recommend the whole series of 86 Bloomberg Place if you like girlie, roommates that don't get along and then eventually do drama-drama-drama plot lines. Dad, that would not be you. And I'm guessing not Sir Not-A-Guy, OJ, and JL either.

Three Weddings and a Bar Mitzvah

In the final installment of the 86 Bloomberg Place series, a crazed competition

for bridesmaids, wedding locations, and showers takes center stage

In a wild combination of Desperate Housewives, Sex and the City, and Gilmore Girls—with all of the drama but none of the taboo—beloved author Melody Carlson offers readers her final installment in the 86 Bloomberg Place series, Three Weddings and a Bar Mitzvah (David C Cook, September 2009). Written in her well-known conversational, colloquial style, Carlson’s latest novel continues to follow four diverse young women, with varying levels of faith, differing interests, and unique personal issues, through the high dramas of their romantic lives.

The four-book 86 Bloomberg Place series offers an emotionally engaging look at the individual dilemmas of four unlikely female friends—Kendall, Lelani, Anna, and Megan—who share a small bungalow while launching their careers and maturing through difficult family situations and romantic relationships. Carlson’s unique ability to capture young women’s attitudes, voices, and heartfelt desires with meaningful storytelling keeps pace with the lives of her readers as she weaves varying perspectives and voices together with both humorous and poignant threads.

In Three Weddings and a Bar Mitzvah, Lelani has returned from Maui to Bloomberg Place with her toddler Emma and is trying to book her wedding date. Unfortunately, there are scheduling conflicts for that same weekend. For starters, Megan and Marcus have a family wedding commitment. Anna and Edmond have promised to attend his stepbrother’s Bar Mitzvah and, to everyone’s surprise, Kendall has just accepted her “Maui Man’s” proposal of marriage and also wants to be wed on that same weekend in June. Let the games begin!

To complicate matters, Lelani wants to keep her wedding simple, but Gil (the groom) has a Latina mama with other ideas. Meanwhile Kendall (the pregnant bride) wants to pull out all the stops on her wedding—and suddenly her absentee parents are on the scene. A crazed competition for bridesmaids, wedding locations, showers, attention, and a little peace and quiet takes over 86 Bloomberg Place. Yet at the same time, friendships are being forged that will last a lifetime.

With only two months to pull off both weddings (on the same day), the pressure is on, and the stress just might kill all promise of happily ever after. Are their friendships strong enough to weather the hassles and heartaches?

Three Weddings and a Bar Mitzvah by Melody Carlson

David C Cook/September 2009

ISBN: 978-1-5891-9108-2/softcover/320 pages/$14.99

www.davidccook.com www.melodycarlson.com

It's official.

I am OFFICIALLY frustrated that I am not an award winning writer.

Which I assume means I need to start writing again.

So that I can actually qualify as "writer" with or without the "award winning" qualifiers.

Happy Birthday to Me?

Lord help me, I do not know when I've had a crappier birthday than I did today.

And that includes my 10th when I had strep throat.

Pray for me. I'm in a wrestling match and I will be lucky to escape with only a limp.

You Were Born For This

His New York TimesThe Prayer of Jabez changed how millions pray. Now Bruce Wilkinson wants to change what they do next.

Anyone can do a good deed, but some good works can only happen by a direct intervention from God. Around the world these acts are called miracles—not that even religious people expect to see one any time soon. But what would happen if millions of ordinary people walked out each morning expecting God to deliver a miracle through them to a person in need? You Were Born for This starts with the dramatic premise that everyone at all times is in need of a miracle, and that God is ready to meet those needs supernaturally through ordinary people who are willing to learn the “protocol of heaven.”

In the straightforward, story-driven, highly motivating style for which he is known, Wilkinson describes how anyone can be a “Delivery Guy” from heaven in such universally significant arenas of life as finances, practical help, relationships, purpose, and spiritual growth.

You Were Born for This will change how readers see their world, and what they expect God can do through them to meet real needs. They will master seven simple tools of service, and come to say with confidence, “I want to deliver a supernatural gift from God to someone in need today—and I expect to!”

I have to admit, this book terrifies me. I have a comfort zone. It is creeping tighter around me by the day. This philosophy does NOT bode well for my parameters. I know he's right (if not a little formulaic). We are God's instruments. Delivery people. Whatever. But I do not know how to do what I know I should do (even though he so clearly gives the "keys").

This is going to take a lot of work.

Books that make me work, make me strip off my self...I'm sure I'll be grateful eventually.

Boy-Sterous Living

If you've read my blog for long, you probably know my feelings about mothers of boys. As in, mothers of boys are a different creature than mothers of girls, even if the mothers of boys HAVE girls. It is even more apparent when the mothers of boys have boys first (b/c mothers of girls that have A boy somewhere in the middle still see life differently). Yes they are generalizations, and yes someone will be the exception, and no, I'm not singling anyone out, HOWEVER the trend (as I see it) is there. We can find one another in the crowd. We are usually marked by the blood smear on our shirt and we're the ones sitting on the sidelines calling out to our wresting sons, "Privates are off limits mister. I don't care how goofy it looks on America's Funniest Home Videos! Dude, you totally deserved that kick to the chin; I saw you bite his ankle!" Well that, and our sons are the ones wrestling...and our daughters have potentially jumped into the fray.

So there was this book I was going to write. It was going to talk about the wonder of what it means to be a mother of boys and the joys and [smell] honor and responsibility that incurs. My book began with a popped light bulb. (For you mother's of daughters, that is how you describe the phenomenon that occurs when a son jumps off the top of the refrigerator (Oh, I kid. It was the table...or was it the stove? I was in the basement and only heard the thud and the hearsay) and the light in the basement actually explodes and is rendered dead in the socket.) I'm not sure how my book was going to end. Hopefully with the boys surviving until college. But I won't know, either, because Jean Blackmer wrote it before I could get the light bulbs replaced and write it myself. And if you are a mother of boys (even if it is only one and he's surrounded with seven sisters) this book is a valuable resource.

About the book: Raising boys isn't easy. Life with them is loud. If it's quiet, they're probably up to something. Boys are messy, competitive, fearless, and proud. Living with them pretty much guarantees that you're in for an adventure.

In Boy-sterous Living, Jean shares a few of the priceless stories and laugh-out-loud lessons that she and her boys have experienced over the years. With humorous insight and practical advice, she offers encouragement and ideas to help both mothers and fathers impact and shape the lives of their sons. From understanding their love of sports to overcoming the superman complex, Jean shows moms how to find joy and contentment in everyday life by celebrating the laughter, passion, noise, and endless energy boys bring to our lives.

About the author: Jean is currently the Publishing Manager for MOPS International and she's been free-lance writing for 16 years. She has been published in a variety of local and national publications, including: Guideposts, MomSense, Today's Christian Woman, Christian Parenting Today, American Girl, Proverbs 31 Woman, Chicken Soup for the Mother and Son Soul, Chicken Soup Cookbook for the Busy Mom's Soul, Focus on the Family's Teen Phases, Guideposts Miracle Series, and others.

She also co-authored her first book, Where Women Walked: Powerful True Stories of Women's Perseverance and God's Provision. (Tyndale/Focus on the Family, 2004) This book was nominated for a Gold Medallion Award.

Jean graduated from the University of Colorado in Boulder with a Bachelor's (1987) and a Master's (1992) degree in Journalism. She lives in Boulder with her husband Zane; three boys, Josh, Jordan, and Jake.

Find out more about Jean here!

CONTEST: Enter your grossest or funniest moment as a mom of a boy (No boys? That’s okay – we still want to hear your story!) and you could win movie tickets and a snack for you and a friend to escape! Share your story by emailing your entry to amy@litfusegroup.com or posting it on the Moms of Boys facebook page!

And if you want to know what other people are saying about Boy-Sterous Living, check here.

Christianish

I've spent the last year or so rather disgruntled with The Church. Not MY church, per se, but The Church in general. Her people. Myself. Or, more clearly stated, I'm tired. Tired of the front. Tired of my flashes of rage and moments of pure selfishness. Tired of being surrounded by people that "have it all together." Tired of not being able to confess my sins one to another for fear of what that another will think. Tired of hoping someone else will fail so I won't be alone in my failure. Tired of being caught by my agnostic (at best) neighbor doing anything he perceives as unChristian. Tired of the altercation that inevitably follows. I'm tired of being a hypocrite. And you know that is what my neighbor thinks I am. Because Christians, in general, have a bad name. Somehow we've given the world the misconception that we are perfect. Or that we at least think we are. Or think that they think we are. And they can't wait to prove that we aren't perfect, because if they can prove that wrong, the rest of what we profess is a lie. (Or so I've come to understand the "dark side" believes whether that is what we believe or not.)

We put on a front. We smile and act nice. Some of us even are nice. We want to win over our crotchety neighbors that love to incite us to anger and then use that anger as proof that they would never want to join OUR club. But who wants to join up with a bunch of people who won't admit that life is sometimes ugly?

Anyway, when I read the description for Christianish; What if We're Not Really Following Jesus At All? I had to see if Mark Steele had any wisdom for me and my dilemma.

Back Cover Copy:

Rediscover what it means to live like Christ and ditch the ish.

Somewhere between cold faith and hot pursuit lies lukewarm spirituality. And in the media between the wide path and the narrow road we find the middle ground of the spiritual walk. It’s something not quite Christian. More like…Christianish.

Christianish tells the story of one man’s journey to move from the in-between to a life centered on Christ. To move forward, author Mark Steele goes back to the beginning, to examine Christ’s life and words. Through stories and insights that are sometimes profound, often hilarious, and always honest, Mark delivers a compelling look at what our faith is all about.

(I'm back) And that copy doesn't even do the book justice. I rather expected dry reading and the first page (of the prologue, no less) left me gasping for air. This guy is hilarious. He opens the chapters with vignettes from his life that, gracious, who can tell stories like that? And then whamo! Smacks you upside the head with a figurative two by four of truth. Seriously, there are so many underlined passages in my book, I may as well just re-read the whole thing.

One of my favorites?: "...we cannot truly exemplify godliness until we shut up." [! *] (pg 103, top paragraph)

Oh, but what stemmed my rambling opening came from page 45, top paragraph. Oh, it's gooooood.

Indeed.

(that was your teaser)

Every now and then I come across a book I would like to go through with people. This is one. Anyone wanna?

Oh, the Horror!

I saw my doctor today. The read deal. The Doctor. Not a PA. Not a Nurse Practitioner. THE doctor.

I figure I go to the doctor once a year and, by golly, I am going to see a doctor, even if I do have to schedule myself three and a half months out.

As, as I have mentioned, I insist upon seeing the Doctor (MD, that is), and, as I have mentioned, I only see him once a year (and usually a little more than that as I forget that I have to schedule three months out and sometimes my schedule conflicts with my schedule once the three months is up and I have to reschedule--three months out), I save up all my woes for the year to ask him about.

Like the moles on my back that my chiropractor called "suspicious."
Like the fact that my vision has done some random fuzzy, blurry, tunnel vision, woozy things.
Like the burning in my stomach that sometimes grows to pain of such ferocity that not only can I not sleep (did that double negative there?), I can't even lie down and must rock back and forth on all fours and then prowl about the house at 3AM when others in the house are trying to sleep.
Like the high blood pressure???! (what?)

Didn't know about the last one until my appt. this morning. And most of you would consider my blood pressure "normal" but I assure you that for a woman who can be five days overdue and in labor and still have a blood pressure of 98/63, 130/78 is HIGH.

What the heck?

Guess what he told me?

Coffee.

(bleep)

My mom asked, "Is there anything WORSE he could have told you?"

Well, I'm sure there was, but under the circumstances, I'm having a hard time thinking of what that might be. (no lectures, I know, nothing is malignant, I'll live until I'm 90---if I give up the coffee---but GAH!)

Which brings me to the book I read this week, TOTALLY FOR FUN, which extrapolates on the joy of coffee. Let me give you a few nuggets from The God Cookie:

"'If you drink enough coffee, you can forget to eat for roughly two days before your eyes roll up in your head and you collapse into a twitching heap.'"

Does that sound like blurred tunnel vision? This sentence would resonate with me for a reason, that's for sure.

And this: "'I always wanted to help humanity through the caffeine arts.'"

Followed by this: "'They sip, that tension between their eyes releases, their eyebrows come to life. You see the happy blinking after the first blush of caffeine rises to their cheeks and they can face the day, a productive, caffeinated human being.'"

He's been spying on me, I tell you!

Seriously, though goofy, this book was also meaty. I loved this: "What if he'd never risked anything, never put anything on the table but always expected God to play? Hadn't he treated God, often as not, more like a magic dispenser than a fellow player at a game of cards?"

Ouch.

Anyhoo, I discovered Geoffrey Wood when he wrote Leaper which is a fabulous Unbreakable-meets-Jumper-meets-GOD off-the-wall extraordinarily fun and awesome read (deep breath) and when I saw The God Cookie (and I've waited FAR TOO LONG for another by this guy--it's been like two years, dude (Um, however it has apparently been out since February, but don't read that the wrong way. I just got it last week. I'm slow on the uptake of new releases if I don't see them on a review list.)) I snatched and coveted and snarfed it down in a satisfying, can't-get-anything-done-I'm-readin' kinda bibliofile gluttonous feast.

And if you're into that kind of thing, you won't want to miss, well, frankly, either of them.

Even if you don't like coffee. You crazy person, you.

(Look at that! Leaper is only a penny. A PENNY people! That is wrong on so many levels.)

Again!

I just did it again!

Somebody put away the chips!

Unbelievable.

Mindless

I'd already shoved a handful of chips into my mouth that I didn't want and was on my way to the second handful before I even thought about what I was doing.

What is it about an open bag of chips on the table that demands to be consumed?

Musta been a lot of MSG in that bag to call me like that.

Eyes...where?

Last night Frodo told me, "Mom, you don't just have eyes in the back of your head, you have eyes in the back of my brain!"

In other words, I'm a mind reader.

Why, yes, yes I am, and don't you forget it!