Eldest is obsessed with bugs.
Ever since his homework on Monday (bring a bug to school on Tuesday), he's been catching bugs. Anything he can find. He found a nearly microscopic caterpillar. He's caught bugs I couldn't see before he showed them. He's cleared out my entire recycling bin for bug jars.
He comes and declares he's found a spider, but he needs my help opening the window so that he can get to it. (What does that say about my housekeeping?) I attend to his whim. We discuss the spider, which appears to be a female that has wrapped the smaller male (?) in a web and was feasting upon him. In the facing corner is a spider of same species that looks to be spinning an egg sac. Next window over (it's a three opening picture-esque window) is a third spider of same species that looks to be guarding an egg sac.
We concoct a plan. I'm to vacuum the spider and eldest will capture the sac so they can watch for the baby spiders in school. I eye the sac. It has buds on it. I try to determine if the buds are baby spiders and finally decide they are not. They don't move. They must be a different type of web to hold the sac in the web. We proceed with our plan.
First, don't plan when dealing with spiders. Smash 'em and be done.
Second, don't underestimate mama spiders' desire to protect their young.
Third, if you must plan, plan better than I.
On second thought, just keep your window closed. It isn't worth it.
We popped open the window which is nearly cemented closed with this web's seventy billion strands in 360 degrees direction around the sac...in every direction which has to be more degrees than 360. Mama spider freaks, scrambles, eventually sprints for the sac and yells to her babies, "Incoming! Run for your lives!" At which time all those little buds each take one of the seventy billion strands and obey their mother.
Of course my attic fan is on. So of course, they flew into my home.
I don't even want to know what kind of infestation I now have. I eventually got the sac and maybe 25 babies trapped in a ziploc. Of course those are all the learning challenged, or at least disobedient, children. Because all sixty-nine billion 999 million 999 thousand, 975 well behaved ones are now loose in my home.
I took a photo, but microscopic spiders don't photograph well when one uses a $125 camera.
And I won't be buying a new camera any time soon, because I'll be spending that cash on the exterminator.
I know, my skin is crawling, too.