I am so tired. Physically, Mentally, Emotionally and Spiritually.
I am overwhelmed by the clutter in my life. Not just the stuff, of which there is too much, but of the other stuff also. The stuff I do that I shouldn't be doing. The stuff that takes brain power. The coupons that are supposed to save me money. The foods that I want to use up just to get out of my pantry. (They are random things that I bought for recipes I wanted to try and never got around to and now I can't remember what they are.) The devotionals that fill up my inbox. The books that fill up my bookshelves that I can't seem to find the time to read. The babies that talk and talk and talk and seem to want me to listen (and I want to listen, I do, but I also need to make dinner). The spelling tests and the listening to the reading aloud and the school lunches. And sometimes I fool myself into believing that it would be easier to home school (ROFL). The crystals that I promised my kids we'd make and can't find the time to do so. The friends I should visit. And the seventy-three wake-ups a night from the boy whose only pacifier is me (heaven help me).
I once heard a sermon on "Do not become weary in doing good..." and he talked about the difference between weary and tired and I think I'm weary. I'm grateful, but I'm weary. Which is just one more thing to feel guilty about.
Sweetie, don't let the guilt overwhelm you!! You have a lot on your plate, of course you are TIRED and WEARY! Make yourself a list of the things in your post that are really important to you. (Yes, a written list.) Post it on your bulletin board/refrigerator, and then pick one easy one to do each week. You will whittle it down and see yourself accomplishing things. You can't do everything at once, and be the mom and wife your family needs. So, you need to be kind to yourself, and unload a little guilt. ((HUGS))
I have been where you are at. Guilt. I wish I could find some eloquent words to say that would make you laugh and know that it's all going to be fine. I know you know it will be fine - eventually. But the truth is, life with little ones is hard. And you do have times (days, weeks, months, some people - years) where you feel guilty, tired, weary, annoyed, overwhelmed, the list goes on and on. Just know that it gets better, the kids love you, your husband loves you, and it's OK that everything, including you is NOT perfect!
Make sure you take some time for you and Jesus though - He is the one who will carry you through this, teaching you and molding you all along. You'll emerge on the "other side" stronger and happier.
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