I was driving home tonight after a decompression time with a couple friends going through a similar trial and I was thinking about blogging topics and all I could think to say is this:
I feel found.
I don't know how to describe it. And even typing it makes me rethink it. It doesn't make sense. Not exactly.
Maybe I'm coming into myself. Or I know that even though I get disgusted with my self, I am comfortable with myself. Which is a joke because I'm so not. And I'm still a bit discouraged and I have bad days. Today being one of them. But I can't help but feel as if I'm struggling FOR something.
I was so lukewarm for so long that I forgot what hot felt like. There were times when I prayed to just be cold so as to feel SOMETHING. And it was a long, dark time.
And now I feel found.
Tomorrow I may be lukewarm and lost again, but tonight I'm going to consider myself that one sheep out of a hundred.
I wish I could have been there.....
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