Monday, November 24, 2008

A Special Note to Kohl's

Hey! If you are going to advertise a fabulous red dress accompanied by a catchy tune (not Christmas, I noticed), you should, in fact, SELL a fabulous red dress in your store.

Sure, you could be selling the CAR (the other item in that section of the commercial) with CHAPS on the windshield, but I don't really think so. I think you are selling the fabulous red dress.

It takes a LOT for me to give myself permission to buy a fabulous red dress. Especially by CHAPS, seeing as how they aren't known for being economical. So when I give myself permission to buy a fabulous red dress that you supposedly sell, it is highly disconcerting to find that you don't sell it. It isn't in the Chaps section. It isn't in Apt, 9. It isn't Simply Vera Wang (shocker, I know). It isn't Sonoma. It ISN'T in the store. It isn't on the web. It DOES NOT EXIST.

You know where I found that fabulous red dress?

JC Penney.

Guess who's getting my fabulous red dress money this year? (I certainly hope it is still there in my size now that I've said that.)

Come on, Kohl's! I love you, but you gotta carry what you offer or I get disillusioned and spend elsewhere because I have already convinced myself that I MUST HAVE THAT FABULOUS RED DRESS!

You have exactly one day to produce evidence that you carry said dress, or I'm heading to the mall. The other mall.


Edited to add: I am willing to consent that ON THE WEB there is a red dress that could be considered fabulous. However, said dress is cap sleeved. While cap sleeves are lovely in their own right, I live where it is cold at Christmas. The dress on the Ad has at least 3/4 length sleeves. There is also a red dress with longer sleeves, but I don't consider it fabulous on the web. It looks more clingy and not at all flowy like the ad. I will be watching tv tonight and will watch closely. I still think my first reaction is accurate but I MAY be wrong. (They still should carry dresses in the stores!)


mommy4life said...

Ah yes. The quest for the perfect red dress and shoes. You have the shoes and now you need the dress to match....

I haven't found mine yet either....

but I now know not to look at Kohl's. :-)

Anonymous said...

Dear Chaos,
Got you into the store didn't we? Our advertising department is full of Jedi, and tricked your weak mind into entering our domain. We just tricked you into paying more than you should at Penny's, but we know you'll be back. They always come back.

The Kohl's Management

Anonymous said...

Interesting..! Well, Kohls is my favorite store.