Wednesday, February 11, 2009


I made it back to CBS (Community Bible Study) this morning for the first time since before Christmas. It's been a sick few weeks, to be concise. And honestly, the last few weeks of the study have been hard to make myself do. It just seemed obtuse. Or "well duh." Or something. Like, why bother? Gettin' nothin' outta this.

But......since my last kid finally got himself well yesterday, I had no excuse. I whipped out my CBS binder and went to work. A weeks worth of Bible study in a single evening. And it smarted. Oh, how it smarted.


I nearly threw down my pen. I must have sighed a time or seven because my wonderful spouse kept shooting me looks. He was interpreting "I don't want to do this" as "I'm bored and would rather watch TV." But it was really, "I don't want to study forgiveness because I know for darn sure I have some work to do in this area and frankly I don't want to because I've been hurt darn it and by golly I want to hang onto this raging inferno of anger that I'm holding here in my heart."

And then he said, "by all means keep working on it then."

I really don't enjoy being called to task. Especially by God. But I know he has my best interests at heart so I suppose I'll try to listen.

It's hard to remember that forgiveness isn't necessarily reconciliation. Though I know it sometimes can be.

Take this for example:

I Do Again:
With their professional success and adorable twin daughters, Jeff and Cheryl Scruggs looked like the perfect couple. But their polished facade concealed a widening chasm between two people unable to connect on an intimate, soul-deep level.

After years of frustration, Cheryl’s desire for emotional fulfillment led to an affair and, finally, divorce. Yet, incredibly, seven years later, Jeff and Cheryl once again stood at the altar, promising to “love, honor, and cherish” one another. A new and vibrant love had risen out of the ashes of this family’s pain.

I Do Again details the fascinating real-life story of a couple whose relationship seemed shattered beyond all hope until a spiritual awakening led them to reconsider their definitions of “happily ever after.” A riveting account of the power of prayer and redemption, this remarkable book offers renewed hope for even the most troubled marriages—and reveals why the rewards of restoration are well worth the wait.

Author Bio:

Cheryl and Jeff Scruggs are the founders of Hope Matters Marriage Ministries, and for the past several years they have shared their incredible story of a marriage restored with audiences across the nation. Jeff is an account manager with OshKosh B’Gosh, and Cheryl has served as director of the Frisco, Texas, office of the Center for Christian Counseling. They live in Dallas, Texas with their two college-age daughters.

I have to admit that I didn't think this book applied to me. But the story of forgiveness and restoration is one that every one of us could apply to our lives if we'd take it to heart. And there are a couple other lessons to learn in there as well, so that, hopefully, our marriages can be better. With or without the divorce in our history.


mommy4life said...

Nice segue. It is a much better book than I thought it would be.

Anonymous said...

Forgiveness. It's the hardest thing in the world to "give", particularly when the person that hurt you hasn't asked for it!

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

Ahhh...forgiveness...It seems I am going to spend my whole life working on this one! I am growing...I am just a slow learner...

Mrs. Nurse Boy