Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Misreading Vibes

I am reading a novel I imagine I shouldn't be reading which just triggered a funny memory and all I could think was "blog fodder," so there is little to no excuse for the following post except that it is Wednesday, my blog, and a reason for laughter. Particularly now, 14 years later.

When I was living in San Antonio with roommates I didn't choose doing research on stem cells (I threw that in for effect. Did it work? Marrow stem cells, not embryonic. I've done cloning too. Don't hate me.) after I was married and living half a country away from my husband, my Brazilian roommate came home from the lab with a story. The story was, in general, an "artist" guy had propositioned her at the bus stop to pose nude for him. Our third roommate and I assured her he was a creep and she was smart to have walked away. She insisted that he really was an artist and she felt bad for turning him down.

Fast forward a week. I am at the self-same bus  with roommate three when a guy stares at me long enough to creep me out (approximately 0.05 seconds will do it) and then sidles up and says, "I can't help but notice how lovely your form is." (eyeroll) Um, thanks? "No, really. Your figure is amazing. I want to paint you." Yes, he got The Look.

"Paint me."
"Where, here?"
"My studio."
"Which is...?"
"Just over...." (General gesture towards the north)
"And just how would I be painted?"
"Well, I want to paint your amazing figure."
"Yeah, you, um, tried this with my roommate last weekend."
"Uh, huh. She said you were hoping to paint her nude."
"Of course."
"And that is what you'd like to do with us."
"Of course."
"Yeah, see, the thing is....that's just supremely creepy. Normal people don't just take their clothes off for the guy who picks them up a the bus stop."

I really don't remember his response. I do remember anger. We'd asked if he was a student at the school. Or maybe he asked us if we were. He wasn't. I remember that. I think I also passed on riding the bus and chose to walk home in the scorching heat instead. I'm now also hoping he isn't a serial killer. And that his bus stop propositions were never accepted. We really should have notified security about him.


My sister once told me that I put out "don't pick me up vibes." This guy clearly did not pick up on them.

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