Friday, May 11, 2012

The new normal

OUR first lost tooth.
I'm tired. So, so tired. I crave snuggles with my children that come effortlessly. Thank the Good Lord that people are still bringing us food because it takes every scrap of energy I have to give all the eye contact and positive reinforcement I can. Who knew eye contact and hugs were so exhausting? We are happy, don't get me wrong, just completely emotionally exhausted.

I was driving my Frodo alone to a 7AM orthodontist appt yesterday and I had a flash of mourning for the simplicity of it. He could talk away and I didn't have to stop him so that I could explain what a grain elevator was.

Charming came down this morning and climbed on my lap and just hung out for a while and I had a flash of nostalgia for a time, not so long ago, when all my kids unabashedly loved me.

We recently had pizza and four of my five kids cheered and the fifth one made rude ooooo-yuck noises and I wished for a time when pizza and burgers pleased everyone in the house.

But after a hard day of miscommunication and power struggles, Iris still wants me to snuggle her to sleep, and that is beautiful, too.

1 comment:

MotherT said...

Through it all, still your love for all of your children shines! Iris will adjust. She will learn all of the little common things that your other children don't even think about. Then you will grieve the loss of the questions. I'm sending lots of hugs and prayers your way.