Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Life Doesn't Like Plans

I'm not a very good friend. I know that and I want to get that out of the way before I begin because I know this can come back on the fact that I'm not a good friend.

So what do you say when...how do I say this?...the people who are supposed to be your friends lay out their perfect plan. First we will do this, then we will do this and then this and X, Y, Z. I am one of the oldest in my group of friends. That has changed in the last few years. I used to be the youngin (we married so young that our peers were five to ten years older than us) with the big plans. But now I'm on the other side and I know that life doesn't necessarily go according to plan.

As I told my hubby last week when he asked how a particular meeting had gone, "I want to know the truth!! You can't handle the truth!!!" (Name that movie). They ask, but don't want to hear the answer. Of course life will go according to plan.

I know they see me as the disillusioned older lady who would do so much better if she would just read the marriage/parenting books. (I did, back when I knew all the answers.) So I'm wondering if we wouldn't all be better off if I would just take a hike.

But I'm also wondering if I should stick around, because someone needs to be there to catch and hold them tight when it all falls apart. I pray it doesn't, but lets face it. Life doesn't usually like our plans.


the lizness said...

ooooh I love "A Few Good Men!" love it

and I know.. you just want to tell them to lower their expectations because it hurts soo bad when things don't work out the way you think they will.

Mirtika said...

I think it's a disservice to them to disillusion them. That's the job of God and or time. Or maybe not. Maybe they will have amazing things fall into place.

I don't think it's my job to be a prophet, unless it's to say, "What you've planned is evil. You must stop."

If it's not evil, if it's merely, perhaps, highly optimistic or even grandiose-seeming, let it go. It's their ideal. Let them dream.

It might or might not come to fruition.

No one is appreciated for being the wet blanket. :D


Chaos-Jamie said...

Ah, Mir, you're right.

Stop by and slap me into shape again, will ya?

(Tess is right too. I just want to save them some pain. But the truth is, God must think my shoulders are huge because plans DO seem to work out for my friends and I seem to get more than the norm of "your plans are laughable, chick." And before you say it, it isn't because I expect them to fail...which leads back to the pain issue.)

April Erwin said...

Let dreamers be dreamers and don't be afraid to be their soft place to fall. One day you may find that they're your soft place when a bubble bursts. Besides, what's life without dreams? Be they grounded or totaly unrealistic, they're the stuff we live for. (Spoken by a true dreamer that's had more than her share of reality doses.)