Friday, February 17, 2006

O, Happy Day!

In a younger, more idealistic time, did you ever find yourself saying something that now you not only regret, you feel you are paying for, and probably should apologize about? You know, in college, or before you had children, or, heaven forbid, when you had only one child and you were the perfect parent?

Okay here's mine:

"If a child is old enough to say, 'Mom, I pooped. Change my diaper' he is old enough to go in the potty."

You know where I'm going with this, don't you?

It worked with child number one. Child number two? No sweat. Child number three had me eating my words. What's worse, he was a really early potty trainer. Super early. So early that you wouldn't believe me. Let's just say it this way. I was perfectly trained. As long as I put him on the potty every 45 minutes, he never had messy pants. Never. No accidents. And he always put it in the potty like clockwork.

And then we started solid foods. Yes, that early. Vegetables didn't settle as well in his tummy like that breast milk did. He had to go more often, at unannounced times. I took him out of underwear and put him back in diapers. Yes, my 6 month old was wearing underwear. If you were using the toilet, would you want to wear a diaper? Anyway, with that cushion on time, I fell out of the habit of toileting him (I told you I was potty trained and if I could go back to that again I'd have kept at it). Before I knew it, he couldn't even produce when I took him, so I gave it up and waited for him to hit 18 months. The age my other two started.

Now he is two-and-a-half. I've repented of my pride, I've repented of my words. I've apologized to the people I said that statement to and about. I have made public professions of my stupidity. I've cried. I've begged. I've bribed.

But today, Oh, Glorious, Glorious day. Today, even though he was scared, he did his business on the potty.

We have now hung an "Incredibles" clock on his wall. He had a "big candy." He is watching "Monster's Inc." (Only big boys get to watch that.) And even though I offered him $100 if he would just do you-know-what, he wanted two quarters.

So that's what he got.

Pray for me. Tomorrow is another day.

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