Friday, July 06, 2007

The Highs and Lows

Hubs doesn't like me this week.

I shouldn't say that. I imagine he probably likes me, but I'm irritating the heck out of him. We all are. He's got a lot on his mind. I have a lot on mine. And Charming is in that stage when he wants to be held all the stinking time so I can't get anything done. Not the least of which is the housework, laundry, cooking, etc. (he is out of "nice" socks. Not out of clean socks, just his favorite ones). None of the kids are sleeping well, thus neither are we. (Hmmmm, maybe I should turn down the air conditioner?)

Was it only six weeks ago that I had nothing but nice things to say about my husband? Things were going so smoothly there for a while that I wondered what was wrong with us. We'd hit our stride.

And you know what? I think we really have.

Because I know this is just one of those lows that every marriage has. And I know that in six weeks we'll probably be back at a high.

When we are at a high, I don't think we try as hard to "make it work" and a slump inevitably follows. But even the slumps don't seem so bad. He's irritable and cranky and I'm not really taking it personally. I ask if there is something I've done or should have done. He answers "not really" and I wait it out. Do the best I can. I don't slam things around and assume that he's not telling me something. He's probably really just crabby. Sometimes I am and I expect him to know that it isn't him, even if it is him, because it is only him because I'm crabby and not because he is himself.


So we'll ride this one out. Again. And we'll be in a better place when we are done. That is if I do what I can do to pull us out of this slump.

(Insert plug for Dr Laura's Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands here)

I think we've spent a lot of our time and energy this month worrying about other people's marriages and coasting on ours. We need a date. Preferably with a beach, but I'd settle for a coffee. I miss my best friend. I'll try to remember to let you know when he's back.

Of course that is the thing about things being good, you don't really notice.


mamashine said...

Amen. This is so true for us too.

MotherT said...

My hubby and I have been married 22 1/2 years, and trust me, the cycles get shorter in duration after a while. I have always hated those times when one of us is crabby for no particular reason, but it's MUCH worse when we both get crabby at the same time.